Love Is The Drug

FORGET IMPOTENT men, the people benefiting most from Viagra are journalists faced with the traditional silly season shortage of news stories. What hack wouldn't die and go to column inch heaven on hearing that the World Cup has seen sales of the wonder drug drop by 40% in Israel? One can only assume that the local stand-up community have been doing a roaring trade in gags that refer to "ball control", "failing to stick it in" and "being pulled off at half-time".

We were all saddened, of course, by the death of Nigeria's ruthless and paranoid military dictator, but there's definite headline potential in the report that General Abacha's heart gave up during a Viagra-induced bonking frenzy.

According to one media monitoring service, the "oral erectile dysfunction medication" has generated 2,000 press articles in three months - that's almost as many as the number of times Tara Palmer-Tomkinson's been mentioned in News International publications during the same period.

Some of the more eye-catching include:

• "'Viagra widow' sues for damages. Husband takes drug and has sex for the first time in four years - with another." The Independent.

• "Too much love drug an eyesore. American Academy of Ophthalmologists say Viagra may impair vision by 30-50%." USA Today.

• "Blindness reported following Viagra use without medical supervision." The Saudi Gazette.

• "Two million men have been given Viagra scripts in the US in the first 14 weeks." New York Times.

• "Mayor of a small town in Brazil offers men free Viagra to 'save village', after trying to ban sales of contraceptives. His aim is population growth." The Sunday Telegraph.

• "Viagra more expensive than heroin." Daily Mirror.

• "Sex drug boost for endangered species. Viagra cuts demand for powdered rhino horn in Asia." South China Morning Post.

So that's two horn problems Viagra's taken care of. Our colleagues at the Post add that black-marketers are charging up to $300 a tablet, which is not far short of the local price of a car. It's the same story in South Korea, where tourists have come up with a new slant on the "Levi's to Russia" scam and are exchanging pills for free meals and accomodation.

Money rather than hospitality is what's been changing hands in Brighton where, according to the local rag, clubbers have been insuring against brewer's/chemist's droop by buying a Viagra along with their E.

The last word, though, goes to the Daily Telegraph who last week scooped their rivals with the news that "the National Health Service in the UK is poised to approve free Viagra for patients by September."

The new Premiership season will have started by then but, nevertheless, expect plenty of damage to be done in the box. n