Feeding Frenzy

RTE S LATEST attempt at cutting-edge satire is floundering. At the time of going to press, five episodes of the panel show Don t Feed The Gondolas have been broadcast to widespread critical disapproval, and already, one head has rolled. Having been a regular for the first four shows, along with freelance journalist Brendan O Connor and host Sean Moncrieff, comedian and team captain Eddie Bannon has been given the old heave-ho.
While the decision to dispense with his services was taken before Christmas, Bannon didn t find out until he interrupted his honeymoon to record a post-Christmas episode. Upon arriving in Montrose he discovered that the planned recording had been postponed
When the show was started, I was asked to keep up to the end of February free, but I had a four week contract with them which ended just before I went on my honeymoon, Eddie explains. I had a verbal contract to go and record the show on that Sunday, so I went up to Dublin from Cork and when I got into RTE there was nobody there. No message had been left for me, but a message had been left at reception informing all ticket holders that it had been postponed until the following week. I rang the producer Colm Crowley and left a message for him saying I had come up from Cork, I had no idea what was going on, basically what was the story? I didn t hear from him until the next day, when he rang and said, Oh, we re sorry, we forgot to ring you .
He said it wasn t his fault, but that it was his responsibility. Then he said that he had a bigger problem because he was dropping me, and keeping Brendan (O Connor, rival captain), because he didn t think I was happy with the pressures of being a team captain and a comedian at the same time. He said he could guarantee me three guest spots before April. Now I don t mind being dropped at all, but it s the manner in which it was done that annoys me.
Colm Crowley, however, claims that he did nothing wrong.
It s not written in stone that we have to have the same team captains for the whole series, he attests. I mean people will come and go over the 20 weeks. We had Dara O Briain, who was a guest on the show a while ago in as captain for the last one. It d be stupid to confine yourself to using the same two people for the next 15 weeks.
Of the verbal contract which Eddie understood he had with RTE, Colm had this to say:
I don t know what Eddie s been telling you, but the reality of the situation is that he had a contract for four weeks and no longer. Having said that, I m hoping he ll be coming back for at least two more guest appearances before the end of the run. We didn t tell Eddie that he wouldn t be needed, because he was away on his honeymoon and uncontactable. We couldn t possibly get in touch with him.
Eddie refutes this, saying that a message could have been left on the answering machine in his Dublin home. He also maintains that he had a pager with him, and had arranged with Brendan O Connor to contact him in Cork should the need arise. His producer, however, is insistent, stating: I distinctly recall having a conversation with Eddie where he said he would be uncontactable.
Look, all they had to do was leave a message on my answering machine but they didn t, declares Eddie. Obviously as far as they were concerned, I was out of the show, so they just didn t give a fuck about me.
So, does the stand-up see his dismissal as a slight on his abilities as a comedian?
No, is the vehement reply. I did a bit in the way that anyone does about being let go from anywhere. It s a bit like being fired except it s just a sideline for me. I wasn t depending on it for a living. They said the show might finish, but they never said they d drop me. These things happen in this business I get loads of jobs, some of which I m not suited for. They re paying the money and it s up to them to say who they want to do the job. I have no problem with that whatsoever.
Was Eddie pleased with the way the show was progressing?
Well I haven t seen it since I left, and I can t really give an objective opinion on the four I was in. Since I ve been off it, an awful lot of people have come up to me and told me that I m well shut of it and lucky to be out of it. You can make of that what you will.
Colm Crowley argues that the show s ratings tell a different story.
We had 350,000 people watch us after Christmas, and about 240,000 last week, he claims. For 10.30pm on a Monday night on Network 2 that s a phenomenal rating. The show is designed solely to attract 20-35 year-olds and we re doing that spectacularly well. I think people need to calm down about this, it s not brain surgery, it s just a bit of comedy.
Colm is scornful of suggestions that poor scripts, appalling editing and spectacularly unfunny jokes mean that DFTG is just a pale imitation of BBC s acclaimed equivalent, Have I Got News for You.
Well if you put five people in a studio with one in the middle and two on either side, you re immediately going to be accused of ripping off Have I Got News For You, he laughs.
Especially if you are.
Well, is Never Mind The Buzzcocks a rip-off of HIGNFY? Is They Think It s All Over a rip-off of HIGNFY? They re all studio-based satirical comedy shows. Just because someone else does it, does that mean that we can t adopt a similar presence in the studio? The bottom line is that one in every ten 20-35 year olds watches Don t Feed The Gondolas. That s 350,000 people who think that this is funny. n