Coming out on campus

For a lot of young people the start of college life offers a chance to seek out social and sexual adventure without the compromising presence of parents. For gay, lesbian and bi-sexual students in particular college might well be the first time they can meet similar souls. The first point of contact for many is the college LGB society, but as third-year Trinity student Tadhg O’Brien, President of TCD LGB society tells us, it can be a daunting prospect for some.

"The process of coming out is a very personal issue," says Tadhg, "and it’s different for every individual. Although in my case I had begun the coming out process before I came to college, that wouldn’t always be the case. I came out to my mum and dad some years ago after a few drinks on New Year’s Eve. My parents and family were extremely supportive, my dad actually told me that any boyfriend of mine would be welcome in the house, but obviously some people would have a more traumatic experience. That’s one of the reasons I joined the LGB when I started college, because as well as getting something out of it in terms of meeting other gay people, you’re also providing a safe, non-judgmental space for those who might be curious about aspects of their own sexuality."

As well as the normal self-consciousness of the young adult, a gay, lesbian or bi-sexual person is also liable to be stigmatised because of their sexuality. Fiona, a young lesbian who spent Fresher’s Week on the Trinity LGB society information stand, agrees.

"You do see people circling the stand before plucking up the courage to come over," she smiles, "but we’ve all been there. A lot of that stigma comes from inside the individual, a sort of paranoia, as opposed to from others. Throughout the year we continue to get people signing up as they work things out for themselves. And we’re out there, we’re visible."

Fiona’s own coming-out tale wasn’t a complete success.

“I came out to my friends first who were fine but my parents took it very badly," she remembers, "and sadly that hasn’t changed. In a way the LGB society has helped me come to terms with that because I’m hanging out with people of the same age, with similar academic interests yet from a lot of different backgrounds and even nationalities, and they’re all perfectly normal.

“Knowing you’re gay in isolation and actually being in contact with gay people is totally different. The strength and friendship you get from the group helps you to come to terms with the occasional negative reaction you get from unenlightened people. Other societies frequently support us on social occasions like debates or on marches. I have to say that in my time in Trinity I’ve never heard of a single homophobic incident against any of our members which is great."

With music playing such a large part in the lives of students has the rise of So Solid Crew and Eminem led to any sort of lazy-homophobia among the student body? Nasa, another LGB society member doesn’t think so.

"I’m not an Eminem fan," he insists, "he’s talented but he’s someone I think a lot of people can see through, it’s just an act. He’s a media whore. My beef would be with artists like Beenieman who’s a Jamaican rapper. He’s not exactly pro-pink. But I came out in secondary school when I was 15 and friends of mine would use the word ‘gay’ in an insulting way, but not really with a homosexual connotation. It would have bothered me a little back then and I’d say it to them. Now I couldn’t care less."

"Most people are clever enough to work it out,” adds Tadhg. “My personal view is that Eminem can’t use the ‘N’ word because he’s white, yet he uses the word ‘faggot’. I think the guy’s a closet."

The Trinity society organises everything from social nights in Dublin’s queer club nights, to debates, literary evenings and protests, though Tadhg is quick to point out the society is not political. "We’ve marched in protest at the Blood Transfusion’s Service ban on gay men giving blood, for example," he clarifies, "and we were joined by members of USI on that march, but we’re not party political."

Trinity LGB are taking part in the USI Pink Training weekend in Belfast from November 8 – 10.They also host a week-long series of events entitled Rainbow Week in February.

Finally, when I ask Tadhg if there have been any romantic hooking-up on the part of society members he laughs. "We don’t operate a dating service," he smiles, "but I’d imagine you get that sort of thing in any college society. We’re no different."

For information about Trinity College LGB contact www.trinitylgb.org or email [email protected] For information about Lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender groups in other colleges email [email protected]