No turkish delight this Christmas

hotpress.com have just received word that Dustin the Turkey, cultural critic, humorist, great thinker of our time and builder, is not being extended his traditional invitation onto the Late Late Toy Show.

It is believed that Late Late host Pat Kenny may have taken offence at some remarks Dustin is alleged to have made.

At 11.45 this morning Dustin issued the following statement:

"It is with great sadness that I must inform the nation's children that it now looks highly unlikely that I will be appearing on tonight's Late Late Toy Show. As many of my fans know I wanted to use the opportunity to extend the wing of friendship to the broadcasting genius that is Pat Kenny. Much has been made in the past of my relationship with Pat, with some people in the media implying that I've said negative things about Pat in the past, that simply isn't the case, I love Pat and think the country and indeed the world would be a far poorer place without him.

"I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my millions of fans who've sent messages of support to me over this very trying week. I'd also like to urge these fans not to email Pat at [email protected] or indeed call RTE on 2083111 venting their understandable anger. We must accept the fact that Pat and the Late Late team are far wiser then us and have made their decision safe in the knowledge that the Toy Show will be better without me. Who are we to
question such logic.

"Of course I will leave my mobile on right up to 11.30 should Pat change his mind.

"May God bless you all and keep you safe.

"Dustin."

Remember turkey lovers, under no circumstances should you ring (01) 208 3111 or email [email protected] to protest this grievous and tragic turn of telly events.

In the event that we miss our usual serving of turkey despite best efforts, you can read Dustin's Roundup Of The Year In Pop in the Hot Press Annual, out next fortnight.