Red Bullshit

It s been the underground sensation and the undisputed commercial success story of the past two years a flavoured soft drink packaged in 250ml cans which retail for what, to the untrained eye, might seem the excessive sum of #1.90.
Red Bull, the energy-boosting soft drink that claims to give you wings has been nothing short of a phenomenon. Without the aid of any especially prominent marketing campaign, the drink has increased its Irish sales by a stunning 2,000% in the last 12 months an unbelievable figure, especially when you consider that it has been achieved largely by word-of-mouth.
Invented in 1987 by an Austrian named Dietrich Mateschitz, Red Bull first entered the international market in 1994. By the summer of 1996 it had become one of the best-loved soft drinks in existence, with what might have been described as a cult following had its appeal not been so widespread. To illustrate: a 51-year-old grandmother of my acquaintance adores the beverage, swears by her Saturday-morning fix and testifies that it enables her to clean the house in double-quick time. A recovering alcoholic, also of my acquaintance, relishes his daily dosage: It s the only bleedin hit I m gettin these days, he says.
This writer is a confirmed fan of its invigorating qualities, as are the vast majority of my comrades a can or two in the morning works wonders at combating fatigue and sluggishness, and in more nocturnal situations, it mixes brilliantly with a variety of alcoholic spirits (in fact, after Coke, it is now the second-most popular mixer on the market). Just as importantly, it also tastes quite scrumptious. It s obviously not completely benign, and it can be unwise to use the drink in conjunction with certain recreational pharmaceuticals but my overall impression, from fairly extensive first-hand observation, is that Red Bull, all in all, is pretty harmless stuff.
Enjoy it while you can, anyway, because all good things must come to an end. The backlash, it seems, has already started in earnest. Mutterings about the drink s potential for negative side-effects have been circulating for some time, and newspapers recently reported that its sale had been banned by a couple of Dublin s leading rugby clubs.
Furthermore, Doctor Joe Comiskey, the chief medical officer with the Olympic Council of Ireland, has warned that athletes who load up on Red Bull in the hours before competition run the strong risk of failing their dope tests. This is due to the extremely high caffeine concentration in the drink 320mg per litre, which vastly exceeds the Food Advisory Committee s recommended upper level of 125mg per litre.
Never to be outdone in situations such as these, Willie O Dea, the Minister for Youth Affairs (that was not a misprint), has also publicly rounded on the drink, thundering in his characteristic style: I am concerned that young people are consuming these drinks mixed with alcohol in order to get a lift similar to that experienced by drug users.
Similar sentiments can be detected in the observation of an Old Belvedere rugby club spokesman that It has an undesirable effect on young people. It gives than a rare old kick and, as far as I m concerned, that s not social drinking. Nevertheless, the comments of O Dea and company would indicate that they feel fairly sure of their ground, and the emerging consensus (one not disputed by the drink s manufacturers) seems to be that excessive consumption of Red Bull can and does precipitate a range of insidious side-effects.
Most of these (heart palpitations, nervous over-stimulation, anxious jitters, dehydration, muscle twitches) are of pretty minor significance, and can be just as easily triggered by several mugs of strong coffee. What can be stated with certainty is that no-one has ever terminally overdosed on Red Bull, and if the drink is now deemed to be a clear and present danger to the youth of Ireland, it leads one to the conclusion that some people have their priorities well and truly up their posteriors.
Tobacco continues to massacre people by the million, and has undoubtedly ended many more lives this century than Hitler, Stalin and George Bush combined. Alcohol, wonderful and all as it is, can kill a fully-grown man in half an hour if sufficient quantities are consumed. Motor cars are responsible for many violent deaths every day. Too much exposure to the sun can give you cancer, etc. etc.
And we are now being asked to believe that Red Bull is a dastardly menace which we must be protected from for our own good? Draw your own conclusions. n