Underachiever: "At the drop we were scattered in an explosion of arms and legs, like a Mentos in a Coke bottle"

Where are you now and what are you doing?

I’m in The Old Stand post-rehearsal, half watching Salford vs Port Vale, politely smiling at a drunk aul lad who keeps asking me for a phone charger and also do I know "Lulu". "Ya do, ya know her, ya do?” Does anyone?

First record to send a shiver up your spine?

The Inner Mounting Flame by Mahavishnu Orchestra. ‘The Dance of Maya’ was the first time I heard two time signatures being played simultaneously over each other, and I simply did not know what was going on. I was shot into a universe of possibilities and never looked back.

First gig you attended?

Metallica, early ‘90s, at the old Point Depot. I was 11, my friend was 12, and we both told our parents that the other's parents were going with us. They opened with 'Sad But True’ and at the drop we were scattered in an explosion of arms and legs, like a Mentos in a Coke bottle. I spent the gig at the edge of the pit, being looked after by elder rockers. At the end, I remember two lads pucking the head off each other over one of Lars Ulrich's drumsticks.

First gig you played?

Upstairs in Behan’s Bar on Capel St, when I was 16 in a band called Tribal Herb. It was simply the best night ever. We had homemade posters and t-shirts, and we played covers from the Chili's Blood Sugar Sex Magik, Faith No More, and our first original creations.

Most memorable gig?

Queens Of The Stone Age at Slane – and they were just the opening act. PJ Harvey had just finished, and people were just chatting in the crowd when they snuck on stage to the opening track ‘You Think I Ain't Worth a Dollar, But I Feel Like a Millionaire’, and dropped some kind of primal chaos energy bomb on the crowd. It was carnage. I even remember a small child punching my mate in the groin. After that I got heat stroke, and had to sit by the bus.

What has been the most ‘pinch me’ moment of your career so far?

I was playing as a session musician with Junior Brother at the End Of The Road festival in the UK and I got to meet Jason Williamson from Sleaford Mods, of whom I'm a massive fan. He had seen our set and we got proper chatting in the artist area. He was pure sound, and we genuinely had a proper laugh. It was class. Did I mention that me and Jason Williamson are mates? Oh, we have a proper laugh we do...

Sleaford Mods at Latitude 2021. Copyuright Miguel Ruiz.

Most embarrassing thing you’ve done either drunk or sober?

I went to the opening of an open mic that was run by a girl I fancied. Me and my mates all got up, played some songs and had a few pints, feeling like the night was going well… Except later on, when I loudly and drunkenly accused a poet, in front of the whole room, of being a secret priest who turned up to spread Catholic nonsense. He turned out to be the girl's father.

What shite jobs have you had in the past?

A hospital kitchen porter at St James's. I regularly had to empty the old grease containers into the outside underground grease trap – just a foul-smelling capped hole surrounded by congealed grease....

Last record you bought, borrowed, or blagged?

III Communication by the Beastie Boys. A perfect album from start to finish.

Who’d be in your dream band line-up?

Pat Kenny - vocals. Daithi O'Shea - laughing samples. Tríona Ní Dhomhnaill - harpsichord. Nina Simone - piano. Nate Smith - drums. Brad Mehldau - synth. Liam O'Flynn - uilleann pipes. Kevin Burke - fiddle

Sexiest musician on the planet?

Erica Dunn from Tropical Fuck Storm.

What song would you have played at your funeral?

'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go' by Wham.

Underachiever's new single 'JACKET' is out now – with a single launch gig taking place at BelloBar in Dublin on Friday, September 27. Tickets are €13, and are available here.