Five Minutes With...

Not wishing to put myself or my colleagues out of business, but some records simply do not need a written description. All you really need to know about the Arctic Monkeys’ ‘Fake Tales Of San Francisco’ and its withering look at music biz wannabes is that it contains the line “his bird thinks he’s amazing so all that’s left is the proof that love’s not only blind it’s deaf". That should say it all. Still, we get paid by the word, so I feel duty bound to inform you that this is one of the most razor-sharp, witty and memorable records you’ll hear this year. It’s also entirely fitting that the Monkeys should come from Sheffield, as they slot nicely into the region’s penchant for producing biting, intelligent alternative pop music ("you’re not from New York City you’re from Rotherham” could have come straight out of the Smiths’ songbook), presented with in such a knowing manner that you’re reminded of Mike Skinner fronting the Fall. Their fleeting Irish debut may have been and gone, but we’ll know what to do next time.