Billy Corgan Opens Up About Feelings Of "Suicidal Depression"

Smashing Pumpkins released their debut album in 1991 and Billy Corgan became emotionally deflated when grunge exploded on the scene at the same time and, in the process, ripped up the rule book.
"Within a short span of time, I went from thinking I was very successful within my given field, to all the rules had changed in my given field," he revealed on the podcast 'Why Not Now?', which is hosted by Amy Jo Martin.
"Everything I had built myself up to be and do was no longer as relevant as it needed to be. I went into a very strange depression because I felt like something had been not taken, but the change made me feel kind of inadequate in a way I wasn't prepared for."
Speaking about his feelings of "suicidal depression", Billy said he seriously contemplated jumping out of a window but the thought vanished when he rediscovered his passion for music and quickly wrote the song 'Today', which restored his confidence.
"I woke up one morning, and I kind of stared out the window and thought, 'Okay, well, if you're not going to jump out the window, you better do whatever it is you need to do,'" he revealed.
"That morning I wrote, I think it was the song 'Today,' which people would probably be fairly familiar with. It's the ice cream truck video song. It's sort of a wry observation on suicide, but in essence the meditation behind the lyric is that every day is the best day, if you let it be."