TED TURTON ARTISTIC DIRECTOR, GALWAY ARTS FESTIVAL

1. Who would be the last person you would invite to your birthday party? Lucifer not because he d spoil the party but because he d steal the show.
2. Who would be the first person you would invite to your birthday party? My girlfriend Lali, of course! (Phew! I remembered.)
3. Favourite saying? Can you lend me a fiver?
4. Favourite record? Pat Metheny Off Ramp.
5. Favourite book? The Alchemist (past 12 months).
6. Favourite film? The English Patient (past 12 months).
7. Favourite author? Joseph Campbell.
8. Favourite actor/actress? Sean Connery (eminently watchable)/Jodie Foster (always believable).
9. Favourite musician? Alan (Gunga) Purves.
10. Most embarrassing moment of your life? Accidentally dislodging the wig of a bald woman in a crowded auditorium.
11. Favourite food/drink/ stimulant? Tira Mi Su/ Guinness/ making love first thing in the morning.
12. Favourite TV programme? The X-Files/Top Gear.
13. Favourite TV personality? Homer Simpson.
14. Favourite item of clothing? 10-year-old Lakeland sweatshirt that never seems show to wear or fade.
15. Most desirable date? Sister Wendy.
16. Favourite method of relaxation? Making love last thing at night (well, it usually puts me to sleep).
17. If you weren t pursuing your present career, what other might you have chosen? Professional cricket.
18. Biggest thrill? My present job.
19. Biggest disappointment? It doesn t pay enough to buy a Ferrari.
20. Your concept of heaven? Living in the Alhambra Palace, Granada.
21. Your concept of hell? Being a blind man in Granada.
22. Greatest ambition? To play cricket against Australia (fat chance).
23. Period of history you d most like to have lived in and why? Paris, 1890s. Great time and place to be an artist.
24. If you weren t a human being, which animal would you have chosen to be? Cat.
25. If you were told that the world was ending tomorrow morning how would you react/what would you do? Nothing! The world will always end tomorrow!
26. Your nominee for the world s best dressed person? John Barnes.
27. Favourite term of abuse? I hope you live forever.
28. Biggest fear? Loss of sight.
29. Humanity s most useful invention? Children.
30. Humanity s most useless invention? Ghosts.
31. What would be your dying words? Why are they putting this sheet over my face?