Going Buck Wild

Partly inspired by Canadian mockumentary Trailer Park Boys, Hardy Bucks is a story about small-town Ireland and the lovable troublemakers who laze around there, smoking weed and starting fights.

Though a comedy show through and through, scene after scene of four “shturdy, reliable fellas” pissing their lives away paint a depressingly realistic picture of rural Ireland in a recession. And clearly, the country gets it. Since winning RTÉ’s Storyland competition in 2008, 9 webisodes of Hardy Bucks have racked up over three million views on YouTube, much to the delight of the gifted, all-fightin’, all-drinkin’ all-ad libbin’ cast.
But I’m not here to meet cast members Martin Moloney, Owen Colgan, Tom Kilgallon and Peter Cassidy. The rowdy foursome who greet me upstairs in O’Donoghue’s pub introduce themselves as Eddie, Buzz, The Boo and French Toast.
A few minutes later, I’m being treated to their favourite barside anecdote – the one about the time they attended Pierce Brosnan’s wedding.
“Balintubber fucking Abbey man,” Eddie raves. “Fuck me. Callum Best was there with us as well…”
Buzz interupts; “Eddie Hobbs was DJ-ing,”
“We were all doing shots of Baby Guinness but it was a free bar so we were doing them in pint glasses. Next thing Eddie Hobbs pukes all over his balls and has to be carried away…”
Buzz looks to Eddie; “You were doing lines of weed off Joe Dolan’s back…”
“Then Jedward fucking turned up.”
“They were only about five at the time…” The Boo points out.
“…Jedward turned up like Greek Gods, adorned in tunics and grapes and then they started shifting each other. Then Pierce Brosnan’s son walks up to Mikey Graham and he goes; ‘Hey Mikey, you might look like a man but you sing like a boy.’ So Shane Lynch broke a bar stool over his back.”
Good night all round, then?
“Ah, it was quiet enough, though,” The Boo assures me.
First things first, gentlemen. For someone who’s never been, how would they describe their home town of Castletown, Co. Mayo?
Buzz fields this one; “It’s like New York with the roughness and the sheer amount of fightin’ that does be going on. This town’s probably that bit rougher.”
“Only people don’t die, per se,” adds French Toast. “They just disappear for a while and come back…”
“Like in Home and Away when Sam went away for a week and came back as a black lad.”
At this point I should mention that all four hardy bucks are unemployed, save for the casual construction work they get from Eddie’s uncle.
“Big Mick is a hard man,” Eddie says.
“Big auld penis on him,” French Toast nods.
As you can imagine, the conversation gets a little blue from here on out.
“…another trick we like to do in Castletown is the Walk And Piss,” Eddie mimes, “when you’re in a rush and you wee and walk at the same time, but for the last few steps you have to stop or you’ll piss all over yourself.”
And, eh… why don’t they have time to stop for a piss?
“Fast-paced lives,” Buzz shrugs.
“When you’re walking around town no-one waits for anybody. You bend down to tie your shoelace and you look up and the lads are 50 metres down the road.”
What do the Hardy Bucks camera crew make of their outrageous behaviour?
“They think we’re mental. But they’re city folk and they’re out of their element. We try to involve them in our bizarre drinking rituals, but they don’t dig our style.”
Eddie and Co. are known in Castletown for their wild parties, which usually involve taking a lot of mushrooms and a self-invented foam disco. What kind of music are they likely to stick on of a Friday night?
“Huge club choons,” Eddie offers. “Warren G, Bon Jovi, Ace Of Base, Mark Morrison… I actually met Bono once. He was quite a pleasant guy.”
“Big cock on him, though,” nods French Toast.
Speaking of erm… music, Buzz showed us some of his rapping credentials on the online series. What inspired his foray into hip-hop?
“Mark Morrison. One of my idols. Through the documentary hopefully I’ll make a career out of it. I’m just testing the waters at the moment, to see if people like the raps. Maybe I’ll make an album.”
Needless to say, hip-hop fans, remember the name Nasty Notes… Next, I ask the other Castletownians if they’ve got similar ambitions.
“My goal is to be a Premier League footballer,” Eddie answers, “though time seems to be running out now. If not, I wanna go on X Factor and maybe try and win that.”
With little effort, I convince him to give us a sample of his vocal stylations and before I know it, he’s sobbing through the chorus of ‘Under The Bridge’. Fuck. I’ve really done it now. He continues; “And this is my Sean Nós version of Madonna’s ‘Ray Of Light’…”
I try to distract him by bringing up Neil Strauss, author of infamous pick-up artist bible The Game.
“Great man.” Eddie gushes. “Him. Mystery. Tucker Max. They know things about women.”
But the lads are all still single, right?
“Well, there’s not really that many eligible women where we come from…” Eddie shrugs.
Surely becoming a YouTube sensation has gotten them a fair bit of tail?
“We don’t often leave Castletown,” The Boo notes, “but Ballinbool for example.”
“Yeah, we’re big in Ballinbool.” French Toast confirms.
“We’ve had people come up to us and say ‘Sign me an autograph there.’ But then they just try to sign you on the dole.”
Your average Hardy Bucks episode climaxes with Eddie giving a rather deep insight into life in Castletown. Does he see himself as a bit of a philosopher?
“Yes. I would be a thinker. I would often ponder the Cosmos. But, as Hamlet would say; ‘Agas this petulant vapours and shit...’”
“Salt of the earth, like,” Buzz offers.
“Yeah, defo.”
Finally, do the foursome have any plans to leave their sleepy metropolis once their antics are broadcast to the nation?
“Nah, Castletown’s where it’s at, like.” Buzz says.
“Yeah, cheap rent,” Eddie agrees. “And there’s a Tesco coming to town soon.”

Hardy Bucks airs on RTÉ Two in October for a three-week run.