Caught In The Net: Mob's your uncle

To save you the bother of having to watch this third-rate mafia tosh, Caught In The Net has perused the handy episode guides, which can be found at www.hbo.com
If you want to wait until RTE screen it next month to find out what’s been going on in New Jersey organised crime circles, look away now…
Okay, the first surprise is that notorious wobble-bottom, Vito, is in the running for ‘Mob Slimmer Of The Year’ having shed 60lbs.
Vito: “I tell you, one of the best things about droppin’ the weight? All new wardrobe. I keep it up I’m gonna need Clothing Anonymous.”
Ray Curto: “You shoulda called your sponsor before you bought that suit!”
Of slightly more significance is Junior coming over all paranoid and shooting Tony in the stomach.
Vito: “He Marvin Gayed his own nephew. The boss of the family.”
With a comatose T fighting for his life, the il capo gig goes to a reluctant Silvio who proffers: “I’m more behind the scenes – advice, strategy.”
Elsewhere, a distraughts AJ tries to join the family business by buying a gun; Paulie and Cary De Bartolo relieve some Colombians of a dishwasher-full of cash; and Carmela has a little chat with Dr. Melfi.
If you can’t remember what went down during Series Five, the site is also home to a Sopranos Google Map that interactively recalls all the highlights.
From there it’s but a mere mouse-click to www.necaonline.com/cobainnews1.html where the National Entertainment Collectibles Association are flogging plastic models of the Nirvana frontman.
“The one thing that many fans have been asking for and have never received in any form, official or not, is an action figure,” they say. “Many other musical icons have been brought to plastic and NECA is proud to be able to bring that same respect and admiration to Kurt Cobain’s memory with our figure.”
Sticking with music, and of the 1400-plus acts who played at this year’s South By South West music festival in Texas, the ones attracting the most A&R interest were Minneapolis’ Tapes ‘N Tapes (or, as they’ve been re-christened by one of our cynical journo chums, Clap Your Hands Say Tapes). Discover whether the hype is justified by accessing the free downloads at www.tapesntapes.com/#
Which just leaves time for quick visits to www.robotrumpus.com/brokeback (not entirely authorised Brokeback Mountain/Empire Strikes Back trailer mash-up); www.olearyout.com (“We’re not fickle, we just don’t like you!”); www.thedoctorsays.co.uk/thedoctorsings/index.htm (Tom Baker sings the hits); and monkeyfluids.blogspot.com (hot Enid Blyton photoshop
action).