Caught in the net

Cat's are decidedly unimpressed as their owners turn them into figures of ridicule words
While Caught In The Net is as fond of moggies as the next web column, we must confess to deriving a certain sadistic pleasure from the feast of feline frippery that can be found at www.stuffonmycat.com
Run – surprise, surprise – by two American college boys, the site can consider itself lucky that it falls outside the remit of the ISPCC who may have a thing or two to say about Tabby being variously buried under an avalanche of remote controls, mummified with Post-Its and turned into a ratatouille ingredient.
From there’s it’s but a mere mouse-click to www.pyongyang-metro.com/metrophotos.html, a fascinating hidden camera study of the North Korean capital’s underground. Strictly off limit to westerners, the system trebles up as a massive nuclear bunker and shrine to loony leader Kim Jong II.
Meanwhile, their Japanese neighbours are celebrating a major breakthrough in silicon sex doll technology.
"We’ve made the body more pliant, and the legs will open wider," Orient Industry Co. President, Hideo Tsuchiya, enthuses. "She can be an irreplaceable lover who provides a sense of emotional healing. We use high-grade silicon, which gives a texture close to human skin. The feeling is completely different from the inflatable type. Many people might be inclined to disparage sex toys, but these dolls truly exemplify Japan’s status as a high-tech country."
Says one satisfied customer: "When I ran my hand along the doll’s thigh, I felt a shiver of excitement."
Find out more at www.orient-doll.com
There’s recreation of a less sheet-staining type to be had at www.guitarshredshow.com, a scarily addictive axe simulator that enables you to out-Yngwie Mr. Malmsteen.
Which just leaves time for quick visits to www.cybernooky.com (5 Gates Of Hell Metal Cock Ring, anybody?); www.badjocks.com (Joey Barton is a saint by comparison); www.eleven-a-side.com (Fab Eircom League site).