A wife less ordinary

Those of you who consider Pete Burns to be a bit conservative when it comes to sexual identity will be fascinated to read the latest goings-on in the life of Genesis P-Orridge.
Not content with undergoing gender reassignment, the Psychic TV mainman is now attempting to ‘pandrogenously’ merge with his wife, Jacqueline Meyer.
“We’ve been utilising cosmetic surgery procedures as well as clothing and hairstyles to look more and more like each other,” the 58-year-old explains. “On Valentine’s Day, we both got breast implants – B cups for those interested. And we have a wonderful doctor who’s collaborating with us on the project – he’s really started to grasp what we’re trying to say. We’re going to keep having surgeries to look more and more alike. And we’re trying to learn each other’s gestures, as well, to lose ourselves in each other.”
P-Orridge, whose alterations include cheekbone implants and having his healthy teeth replaced with solid gold ones, goes on to wax lyrical about his wedding day.
“She was the groom and I was the bride,” he coos. “I wore a beautiful white lace wedding dress, and she wore black leather motorbike trousers, biker boots, a black leather vest with nothing underneath, and a moustache and sideburns.”
Read the full story at www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/chronicle/a/2004/10/31/PKGD89GJJU1.DTL
From there it’s but a mere mouse-click to www.shomer-tec.com where the ingenious Brief Safe is yours for the smalls change price of $9.
“Items can be hidden right under thieves’ noses with these specially-designed briefs which contain a fly-accessed 4” x 10” secret compartment with Velcro closure and ‘special markings’ on the lower rear portion,” read the technical specs. “Leave the ‘Brief Safe’ in plain view in your laundry basket or washing machine at home, or in your suitcase in a hotel room – even the most curious snoop will ‘skid’ to a screeching halt as soon as they see them. To add realistic smell, check out our ‘Doo Drops.’”
Nice.
There’s been much tut-tutting this fortnight in pro-baseball circles after the Chicago White Sox/Cubs derby game degenerated into a mass brawl. Along with the fine gallery of shots that can be found at msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/5630738, an enterprising fan has staged a lego reconstruction of the fisticuffs at www.bat-girl.com/archives/001504.php
Which just leaves time for quick visits to www.youtube.com/watch?v=1csQG0ZciFQ (own goal of the season); www.sixofone.org.uk/Prisoner-Remake.htm (Sky green light remake of The Prisoner); and www.regrettheerror.com (American media gaffs and corrections).