Morrissey clears up concerns over his health

Morrissey was forced to cancel a number of live dates in the US last week, as it was revealed that the outspoken, bequiffed star had been hospitalised with a bleeding ulcer.

He has now confirmed through fansite/Mozza communications conduit True-to-You that the tour will resume on February 9 and he has made a full recovering. We think – tongue firmly in cheek, he's overegging the 'woe is me' bit and cleverly paraphrasing Mark Twain in his opening line:

The reports of my death have been greatly understated. Once admitted to the William Beaumont Hospital at Royal Oak in Michigan, I received treatment for concussion, a bleeding ulcer, and Barrett's esophagus. The positive from all of this is that there are now no known ailments left for me to try.
I am fully determined to resume the tour on February 9 at the Chelsea Ballroom in Las Vegas. If there's an audience of any kind in attendance, I just might die with a smile on my face, after all. If I am not there, I shall probably never again be anywhere. Equally, I am determined to play Flint (Michigan) if it kills me (which, on the face of it, it almost has.)
Thank you to everyone present at both Brooklyn (New York) and Melbourne (Australia) during recent weeks for two of the best nights of what might charitably be termed my "career". My debt to you will outlive time itself.
pause at my headstone,
MORRISSEY