Pass the Ventolin. Well, if that don’t beat all. Just when you think you’ve seen everything, Fermanagh go out, play beautiful boy’s own football, get to the semi-finals and become the hip gaelic football team of the year. As one with a birth cert that reads ‘Enniskillen’, I was practically paralysed with happiness – but I wasn’t alone. Even Pat Spillane, originator of the term ‘puke football’ – that rather derogatory media label for Ulster Gaelic – was suitably impressed, declaring that the county, famed for water and Protestants, had restored his faith in the sport.

Just for once, an Ulster team had made it without the usual ‘Oooh, they’re so big and rough’ or ‘Oooh, they’re just not pretty enough’ kerfuffle. Fermanagh came out playing bravura attacking football, with Martin Mc Grath at the hub, and underdog worship in the crowd. Ha! No more soft southern excuses.
Now some folks will tell you that the Ulster stranglehold is broken. Yeah, right. We were a sliotar away from an all-Ulster final, with Fermanagh taking Mayo to a semi-final replay and Derry looking majestic until meeting Kerry, the eventual winners of Sam Maguire also in the semi.
Peaking at just the right time, Kerry trounced Mayo in the final with a score of 1-20 to 2-9. They were elegant and predatory, with the combined performances of Messrs McCarthy, Cooper, O’Cinneide and Galvin recalling the sheen of classic ‘80s Kerry line-ups. Then again, they had to do it in style to keep the people back home happy, accustomed as they are to perfection.
That’s something Paidi O’Se knows only too well. Having been unceremoniously dumped by Kingdom officials last season, he took up the reins at Westmeath – a county with a distinguished record of consistent defeat – and led them to an All-Ireland Quarter Final and provincial glory. John Keane glittered, but the real highlights were in Conor Mortimer’s glossy blonde ’do. Snap this kid up, quick! The most marketable commodity since Jayo first swaggered onto Croker, it would be a shame to lose him to Down Under a la Setanta.
As per usual Mayo rocked with Ciaran McDonald in full attacking flight for most of the season. Unfortunately, as per usual, they missed out on the day, but you suspect it’s just got to come good for them eventually.
Going into 2004, three teams from the thirty-two had never claimed their provincial title. With Westmeath taking Leinster and fabulous Fermanagh conquering Ulster, it’s over to you,
Wicklow.