The sex toys top ten

Over the last few years, thanks in part to the proliferation of shows like Sex and the City, the mystery surrounding sex toys has been greatly diminished.

Manhattanites shop in the uber-store Babe In Toyland as though they are procuring Manolo Blahniks or Prada, while Ann Summers parties are not entirely dissimilar to Tupperware get-togethers, with people talking – over Chardonnay and popcorn of course – about cock-rings and dildos in a comfortable, curiously homely manner. Clearly, we’ve come a long way since the '80s – our toys have more speed settings now, for a start!
So we thought it was high time to find out what the 10 best selling sex items in Dublin sex shops are right now. To do this, we asked both Ann Summers and Miss Fantasia to let us in on their customers secret passions.
Of course, the Miss Fantasia store on South William Street has long been a favourite of horny Dubs, and it’s easy to see why, after a quick wander through its labyrinthine corridors. Boasting an eye-watering selection of bondage gear, strap-ons, and DVDs, the store offers something for people of every taste, persuasion and preference. What’s more, the kinky footwear and retro lingerie is enough to bring out the Dita Von Teese in anyone.
Justin Parr, who as a rather industrious teen began importing sex toys at the age of 18 and subsequently opened the first Miss Fantasia ‘humporium’ in Fairview 15 years ago, knows a thing or two about what a girl wants. “If an orgasm comes out of the blue, it’s much more intense,” he intones. “Good sex is like a great party – it often happens spontaneously and without forethought.”
Clearly we’re in good hands here, as it were. With that, let the (sex) games begin…
THE MISS FANTASIA TOP FIVE (and a bit on the side)
Miss Fantasia, 25 South William Street, Dublin 2
1. Tiggler Tongue Piercing - €50
The Tiggler is a vibrating bar bell that is ideal for anyone with a tongue piercing (though I’m sure the more experimental can try it on other pierced areas of the body). This can be tightened slightly on the tongue, so that both giver and receiver experience some sensation. “It’s a fairly unique toy, I’m sure you’ll agree,” notes Parr. “What’s more, it works well for guys and girls.” With this little wonder doing all the hard work for you, that strained jaw could well be a thing of the past.
2. Medical Selection
This selection of steel implements is ideal for those into S&M, or who like to play the ‘oo-er’ version of Doctors and Nurses. “Sensation is important during sex, so the cold steel works really well for some people,” explains Justin. Among the more noteworthy components of this selection are the doucher (a sort of huge steely syringe, retailing at €55), a vaginal speculum (yes, the one they use during your smear test, priced at €55), and a steel butt plug (€150) that lights up with pretty twinkly lights, if you’re so inclined. Let’s just hope it’s stainless steel…
3. Glass Dildo selection
If you like your dildos to be as lifelike as possible, these glass versions could well be a bridge too far. Mercifully, these dildos are in fact made from Pyrex, so they’re unbreakable and chip resistant. “Because they’re handmade they are more expensive than your average dildo, but a cheaper range is on the way,” reveals Parr. “They’re almost like bit of art, so people sometimes buy them as presents for people who will never use them.” The Juicer is perfect for those who have outgrown their introductory toys and are looking for a challenge – this ribbed dildo has to be inserted and twisted…just like a juicer. Available at €275.
4. Clone-A-Willie - €90
This kit is either for the narcissistic or the truly love-sick. Using a moulding powder, one can make a rubber cast of your (or your partner’s) penis by using a special liquid rubber mix. If this all sounds a bit too Blue Peter for you, Parr assures us that the finished result ‘feels great’, and is even better if you decide to put a vibrator into the drying mix. A word of warning, though: It’s probably not a good idea to ask your man if he has any bigger friends that might ‘do the honours’…
5. Remote-control Love Egg - €80
“It’s all about teasing your partner,” informs Justin, and this cute contraption should do just that. The vibrating egg is inserted into the vagina (or anus) while your partner takes control of the remote control which causes the vibrating. It’s possible to walk about with this egg inserted (although a trip to Tesco is perhaps best avoided). Thankfully, the egg can only be activated within 10 metres of the remote control – but a mobile phone version is available too, which should make long-distance relationships that bit more interesting.
5 (joint). Raging Hard-On, €120
“The big thing now is how real you can get the toys to feel,” explains Parr, and this nine-inch penis, complete with veins and ridges, certainly looks and feels lifelike. “It beats a lot of the other toys in that respect.” The double-ended version, which clocks up an impressive 18 inches, costs €80.
THE ANN SUMMERS TOP FOUR
Available at Ann Summers, 30-31 O’Connell Street, Dublin 1
1. Joy Rider Cock Ring - B25
By all accounts, this handy accessory lets the user keep his hard-on longer. Here comes the science bit: it has something to do with preventing blood from leaving the penis! “Each Joy Rider is individually wrapped in a condom style packet, making it discreet enough to also stash in your wallet for spontaneous use out of the bedroom,” says Maxine Soghmanian, Press Officer for Ann Summers. Although the pink rubber rings are hugely popular, the steel ones – retailing at around €90 in Miss Fantasia - are a best seller as they’re more ‘mannish’ than a pink piece of plastic. Apparently.
2. Three-way Rampant Rabbit – €69.75
If the Rampant Rabbit is the Coca-Cola of the industry, their three-way is perhaps best described as the Cherry Coke of sex toys. This bestseller is perfect for the complete beginner, as the bright pink colour and rabbit face on the vibrating rabbit ears are nicely reassuring. The Three-Way also boasts a second set of ears, which massage the anal erogenous zone…three thrills for the price of one, then. A word of advice to novices: you may want to keep your jeans on the first time you use this seemingly innocent vibrator…
3. Stand & Deliver Strap-On Dildo, €25
Unlike many strap-on harnesses, which are made with leather or faux-snakeskin, Ann Summers have come up with a lady-friendly version. Attached to these cute pink pants is a 6-inch dildo, which boasts a ‘perfectly positioned’ vibrating bullet. “This product is great, but definitely one we would recommend for couples who are experienced with sex toys and want to experiment,” explains Soghmanian. The multi-speed battery box can then be clipped onto the side, should you ever find that you need your hands free…
4. Mustafa Shag Doll, €23.25
A favourite for hen nights, Mustafa even boasts his own dodgy 70s moustache and the eyes of a sex-crazed lunatic. Mustafa Shag has been lucky enough to attend thousands of hen night parties across the UK that are ‘Access Denied’ to other men!” says Soghmanian. “He is a cheeky blow up doll that adds fun to a great girls’ night out, and he is one of our best-selling hen night products.” Although he blows up to a rather lifelike bloke with impressive dimensions (complete with seven-inch penis) Mustafa probably works better as a hen-night escort than a surrogate boyfriend.