The Sex O'Clock News

Good Lords! No sex in Belfast please
Belfast City Council is determined to keep the city centre free from the scourge of sex shops and is set to approach the House of Lords in order to uphold the Council’s right to refuse licenses to adult stores. The Miss Behavin’ shop in central Belfast is at the centre of the row since the City Council announced a total ban on sex shops in the Gresham Street area in 2003.
Porn on the go too steamy for Yanks
Mobile phone pornography has been identified as one of the fastest growing entertainment businesses and it’s worth is expected to triple by 2009 – but service providers are sceptical about extending adult content to Americans. At the Mobile Adult Content Conference held in Miami, Tina Southall, director of content standards for Vodafone, notes that while adult content was a key part of the company’s European business, they believed that even fairly conservative adult content would not be acceptable to US consumers.
RIP
Betty Friedan, the writer and feminist whose manifesto The Feminine Mystique became a best seller in the '60s died this February at the age of 85. Although often criticised for being ‘bourgeois’, Friedan’s book sold millions of copies and was seen as a radical call to arms at the time.
Books
Cooking is one of the sexiest skills a man can master. There is something about the professional handling of a spatula that makes most women want to take off their clothes and shag you between courses. As long as you don’t have garlic breath, that is. Irish author Jim Connolly is here to help. The How to Pull Cookbook is aimed at single men, to help them brush up on their culinary and social skills. The recipes are easy enough to cook, but special enough to win brownie points. Available in all good book stores for around €13.00
Sexton’s Miscellany
The triumphant return of the Alpha Male (or maybe not)
The Alpha Male has apparently returned beating this hairy chest, claiming territorial rights over your ovaries and causing your heart to flutter. And how do we know this? Well apparently because metrosexual icons David Beckham, Jude Law and Gavin Henson are no longer so popular with the ladies. According to the latest opinion polls, we are now all after the rugged and masculine charms of Brad Pitt and Jake Gyllenhaal. Some people will do anything to start a trend. David and Jude lost ground for shagging the help and Gavin is a lurid shade of orange. Brad and Jake rugged? Compared to what? Poodles? I don’t care if my men are Alpha or Beta, metrosexual, ubersexual, or anything in between, just as long as they don’t make me watch the football.
More Weird Sex Laws
When in Rome, do as the Romans do. But when in the USA, don’t do anything at all! Our friends across the Atlantic have so many really weird laws about sex that you can be sure that even the most innocent behaviour is going to be illegal in at least one State. I thought I had read them all, but it turns out there’s plenty more. Here’s another selection for your education:
• In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent leather shoes in case the shoe’s polished surface offers a view up their skirts.
• In Connorsville, Wisconsin it is illegal for a man to shoot his gun while his female partner is having an orgasm. Yeehaw!
• In Clinton, Oklahoma, it is illegal to masturbate while watching two people have sex in a car.
• In Oxford, Ohio it is illegal for a woman to get undressed in front of a picture of a man. Why, why, oh why? Even wearing my imaginary mother of 10 hat, I really can’t figure that one out.
• In Margate City, New Jersey it is illegal to surf naked with only a sock on your cock. The Red Hot Chili Peppers have a lot to answer for.
This Issue's Top Sex Tip
There are a number of ways to stimulate your partner’s clitoris besides stroking, licking or kissing. Not that there is anything wrong with those – but try these variations out:
• Place your lips around your lover’s clitoris and blow gently as if playing a trumpet. Some women find this gentle touch makes them melt. Although it is safe to blow on the clitoris, never, ever blow into the vagina.
• Alternate between lightly nibbling and flicking your tongue across the clitoris. The sensation can result in a mind-blowing orgasm.
• Tongue rings add extra sensation to oral sex. Recreate the feeling by placing a small sweet on your tongue while stimulating your lover.
• Condom rings and tongue buzzers create delicious vibrations on the clitoris. If you are not keen on toys, recreate the sensation by purring when you go down.
Keep up the good work, boys and girls!