Princess Of Rails

When Caroline Morahan walks into the room, people take notice. Not only is she one of the most recognisable people in Ireland at the moment, but she’s also far prettier in the flesh than she is on television. She’s also warm, friendly and extremely chatty. Indeed, what was purported to be a half hour interview goes on for at least twice that long, as Caroline proves herself to be intelligent and erudite, without ever taking herself too seriously. On the promotion trail for her new TV series, Chance To Dance, ("It is beyond a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It is the stuff of dreams for a dancer”), Caroline is happy to talk about any subject put to her…and then some.

Was Chance To Dance fun for to work on?
The whole thing was amazing for me. I was still shooting Off The Rails when we started on this. Normally, when I come to the end of a season, I’m banjaxed and I just basically lie down for two weeks because you have to put an awful lot into that show, particularly when we’re doing make-overs, which is what we’ve been doing since Christmas. But the two shows overlapped, I went straight into production on Chance To Dance and I was energised by it. We were into 12-hour filming days. But the endorphins were flowing because these people were doing something they just live for, and it was magical to be around.
People who are involved in this project are out there because they want to dance. It’s not like people going onto Big Brother because they want to be in a band or they want to be a TV presenter or they have any ulterior motives: these people want to dance and it’s what they were put on earth to do. So it’s very refreshing to see that real talent, as opposed to vacuous idiots who just want to jump up and down in mud baths or whatever the hell they do on Big Brother.
Do you feel for the people who give it their best shot but just don’t have what it takes to make it?
Of course. Unhappily for me, I’m a very sensitive person so I can’t watch something without getting emotionally involved. But then, that makes me who I am and I wouldn’t want to be any other way. But at times, it was getting ridiculous: I’d mascara all over my face, I was in a complete heap and I would have to do a closing piece to camera looking like a complete whinge-bag.
Another thing that makes this different, and not really a reality programme, is that all the producers, choreographers and everyone involved wanted the best outcome for each dancer. It wasn’t a case of ‘let’s get a really dramatic TV show with people screaming and crying’. Anyone who took part, anyone who made the cut has made such an advancement in their career, in their training, in opening their eyes to what is out there. So they have had huge benefits from it, whether or not they were the end-winner.
Of course, there were disappointed faces and semi-broken hearts. And some people learned that this wasn’t what they want to do, that they can’t cut it, they can’t handle the pressure. But for others, it lit the fire for them even more.
Do you dance yourself?
If I go out clubbing, I am the first on the dance-floor and the last one off it. But I can’t dance, as such.
Did you ever take lessons?
Well, my sister and I did everything as children, because my parents felt that a broad upbringing was important. I did Irish dancing at one point, tap, ballet, gymnastics, swimming, drama. I did everything to see what I liked, but I never did dancing as a serious thing. I was never in competitions or anything: I was always down the back, one of the messers. But there is nothing quite as liberating as dance. It’s quite an incredible release, and I love music. If I’m in a bar where there’s music, I’m tapping my feet ‘cos I’m dying to get up. I’m not into sitting swilling pints and being on my arse. I want to be on the dancefloor if there’s music playing. Naturally enough, during the making of this programme, you can’t help but be swept up by it. I think it’s going to be a bit of a national craze. There’s so much energy in this programme, you can’t help but feel better having seen it. It is one of those feel-good shows.
That’s quite unusual for that type of TV show, which is often more a case of ‘car crash TV’?
Absolutely. And I have to be quite honest, when I was first approached on it, I thought ‘Reality show? I don’t think so’. I love working in television and I get a huge amount of job satisfaction from projects I work on, but I’m not keen to just have my mug on the box. I like to work on things I believe in and that are going to have some sort of positive influence on the people who are watching them. These ‘see how big a fool you can make of yourself’ shows would not appeal to me at all. But once I spoke to Paradise Pictures, the producers, and found out what they had envisaged for this project, I thought it sounded amazing. It is real people, getting the encouragement and training they need to pursue their dreams and use their talents. Anytime anyone has a gift like that and uses it, it’s a perfect expression of happiness.
You said you initially considered turning down this project. So what would you not do on TV?
I wouldn’t do anything that I felt people were being exploited on. I was asked to something before in the UK, a sort of dating show, and it just sounded like trash. I love working in television and it’s something I would like to do long-term but not that way. It’s the same as journalism: I would never write anything that I couldn’t stand over as being decent. I did a social diary and it was never about who’s sleeping with who, it was enjoyable stuff that would make you have a laugh.
In doing that social diary (for the Evening Herald), you must have seen a lot of things that you could have written about but chose not to?
Of course. I don’t drink when I’m working and you can have some people who are in that line of work who are out quaffing champagne and enjoying the freebies and who aren’t 100% on the ball. I was always completely sober and highly aware of everything that was going on around me. But I’m not out to propagate any kind of smut or trash like that because I would feel quite unwell if had an attachment to that.
In your own career, you are probably one of the most photographed people in Ireland. Have you found that there has been much intrusion into your own personal life because of your increased prominence?
The photograph thing has been going on for a long time. Even when I was doing my journalism, I would go to events and they just take pictures of people. I have never really equated anything with that.
In terms of invasion of privacy, I’m Irish. We live in Ireland. We are not the UK. I just happen to present a television programme: there’s no difference between me and everyone else. I think Irish people, for the most part, realise that. I’m an ordinary person. I go to the shops in my slippers the same as anyone else – well, maybe not many people do that – but there’s nothing different or unusual about me. I’m not Jennifer Lopez, who has a toilet seat crafted in diamonds. I’m an ordinary person who just happens to be on television: that’s the way I look at it.
What would be your dream job?
I’m kind of doing it at the moment. With Chance To Dance, the sensation was one of privilege to be involved in it. Cynics will think ‘Puh’ but it was incredible to be around people like that, watching something magical unfold for one person, the beginning of their journey. I found it so rewarding to be around that and so exciting. It’s like they’re made of elastic: the things they were doing. I’m 27 but watching them, I felt like I was 97.
I remember one of the first master-classes where they were doing the rudiments of ballet: I went home and tried to do a couple of the things they’d done and I completely pulled my calf muscle. So it is amazing to watch genuinely talented people doing what they’re gifted at. It is quite phenomenal to be around, especially en massse, when you’re in a club of a hundred of them and they’re all throwing their legs around their head.
If in ten years time, Pat Kenny decided to retire, would you have any inclination to do something like The Late Late Show?
Well, to be honest, I couldn’t really think about ten years time. I don’t really operate that way. I’m not an idiot (laughs), though. I have a pension, you know what I mean, but I don’t cast aspirations that far into the future. I have to be satisfied with what I’m doing now. When I’m not, I move. That‘s the way everything has happened in my life: I work towards what I want, when I want it. Right now, the things that I’ve been involved in I find really rewarding and really satisfying so I stick with them. If I start to get bored with that or feel I’m not being challenged, then I’ll look at the next project. But I’m not jumping for things that I don’t think are right.
If Channel 4 or the BBC made an offer, would you move to the UK?
Yeah, I wouldn’t limit myself. I would move to the UK if I had to, but I’d like not to have to. But if opportunities aren’t here then I wouldn’t sit around. But I do like Ireland and I like the small scale of things here. The likes of Cat Deeley do the same things over there that I do here, and yet she’s photographed doing her Sunday shopping. I’m not interested in having a name or a profile that is all over the place.
I like working in television. I like working on an idea from conception right through to fruition. I think a lot of people have misconceived ideas about what it is to work in television and maybe they’d rather the Cat Deeley end of things. That’s fine for them.
What about Amanda Byram’s show, The Swan? Have you seen it?
I have seen it.
What do you think of it?
I think it’s kind of frightening that we’ve got to that stage where it’s literally a case of ‘I don’t like that. Let’s change it.’ I have a huge amount of respect for Amanda. I think people are very quick to jump down her throat and give out, but the woman needs to work.
Unfortuantely she doesn’t even get beyond first gear on that show. She’s incredibly talented, I saw her in The Vagina Monologues in the SFX a couple of years ago. She was on stage with two women who were trained actors, who had been trained as actors their whole life, and she completely stole the show and enchanted the audience. She had people falling off their chairs laughing, had people crying. She is pure talent and I think she doesn’t really get to show any of that on The Swan.
But I think, as a show, it’s really upsetting because it pretty much supports and cements everything that I’m against, which is this idea that physical perfection equals happiness. That’s just such horseshit. It is becoming so prevalent now that people are saying, ‘I’m getting married next month and I’ve a line there, so I’m going to get rid of it’. For God’s sake, are we going insane?
I’m sure everyone would love to have a flat stomach, and I’d love to get rid of these bad boys (slaps her thighs) but it’s not the most important thing in my life. Shows like that say that your image is the most important thing in your life. You get these poor women sobbing "My husband looks at his secretary, and if I had firmer boobs…" Get rid of your husband: he’s clearly an asshole! It’s not about your body. It’s about your attitude. I know feeling good is linked to looking good but put on a bit of make-up and go to the gym. Don’t have a rib removed and take five inches off your waist. That’s crazy.
Are you very conscious of your own image?
I’m very into my appearance. I’ve always been hugely into clothes and make-up, since I was a child. I remember in primary school, you had to wear slippers or runners because you’d interfere with the floor and I’d be there hiding my patent leathers under the table, going ‘aren’t they deadly’ (laughs).
I love getting dressed up, but equally, I don’t wear make-up during the day unless I’m going somewhere. I have so much fun with clothes and I think that’s how men and women should see clothes: they’re an expression of yourself. And they’re also brilliant for optical illusions! But I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed with how I look. I get really bad cold sores when I’m run-down but I won’t stay home and cry about it: I’ll go out, looking like I’ve got leprosy on my face (laughs). There’s more to life.
You’ve been described as a style icon. How does that make you feel?
Well, I think that’s due to the fact that we’re in such a small country. There are only a handful of people who are visible on a nationwide scale. Because I work on shows that have been very high profile, that goes with the territory. The reality is that the private me is really into clothes and fashion, so it is really nice to be called that, but it’s not something I’d ever take seriously or be moved by, because they’re only saying that because I work on Off The Rails or because I used to write a fashion column for a few years. But it is nice, it’s complimentary.
Your name is linked to fashion almost as much as to TV. Could you ever see Caroline Morahan – The Fragrance or Caroline Morahan – the lingerie range?
(Laughs uproariously) Could I see Caroline Morahan,The Fragrance? Jesus, it’s not a very catchy title is it? There are things I’m working on but not like that, not merchandising. That’s a bit of an odd one. I’d never close my mind or my eyes to anything but that’s not something I’d really be considering.
What’s your beauty regime? Are you a fastidious dieter?
Jesus Christ, no! Are you joking me? Do I look like I am? I love food. I eat very healthily though. I’m a bold girl in terms of chocolate and ice cream, and I never deny myself anything. But I have an impeccable diet in terms of eating organic meat, free-range chicken, I always have five portions of fruit and vegetables a day. I don’t generally eat crap. If I do, it’s a case of having a treat. I eat well, and that’s because of my parents. We’ve always been educated about food. If I eat badly, I feel it: my skin tells me about it. But I wouldn’t be a health freak. It’s not lentils on dry bread.
So you don’t go in for crash diets then?
When I was a teenager, I did have a very bad attitude to food. I did diet and feel unhappy… well unhappy is a bit strong. But I used to spend a lot of time with my English twin cousins who are 5”10’ and a size 8 to 10. I’m not that. We’d eat the same things and I’d remain my shape. It wasn’t until later on in my teenage years that I said, "Caroline, you are who you are, and stop comparing yourself to other people". A lot of women would do well to take that on board that they are who they are, stop thinking about other people. Be happy in your own skin. Then they’d stop dieting to try to be like Cameron Diaz, Catherine Zeta Jones or the worst example, Liz Hurley, who eats steamed chicken and rice. What a life that is. So I am healthy, but I don’t obsess. I’d love to go like that (clicks her fingers) for my thighs to be slim, but the reality is I like food more than I do exercise.
While we’re on the subject of health, as a woman you must have really felt for Kylie Minogue when she was diagnosed with breast cancer?
I have to say, my very first thought was that the penny is now going to drop. This disease is the number one killer of women. So many people think that it’s an older woman’s disease – that it’s a 50, 60 or 70 year-old woman’s disease.
But straightaway, I thought ‘Poor Kylie’. I met her a couple of weeks ago. She’s an adorable person and it really shines through. Our dancers performed on her set with hers while she was watching, and she gave them a big cuddle, saying "Don’t be nervous". But the poor woman, what an awful thing to have to go through. It is a hard thing to beat, but I have utter confidence that she will. She is so physically fit, I’d imagine she is tested for things constantly, so I’d say they caught it in the very initial stages. That is the key to be successful at beating breast cancer.
With all the crap we put into our bodies, and the fact that we’re on mobiles all the time, cancer is on the increase. So if we’re not going to stop eating artificially produced foods and we’re going to stay on our mobiles 14 hours a day and have really stressful lives, it is going to increase. If you’re going to keep doing that, get your screenings done and at least catch it and stop it. It is an awful thing to happen to Kylie but the immediate benefits for people worldwide will be huge. A lot of people will be saved, thanks to her openness.
It must be really hard to have to deal with something usually so private in the public domain?
She is to be commended for that. She will go through an awful lot of emotional things, really unpleasant things, during the treatment, and for her to just put that straight out on the table immediately like that must be so heart-warming for women who have gone through it, are going through it or are just finding out that they will have to go through it.
Kylie and Madonna are our 21st Century female icons. In a lot of people’s minds, she is beyond a woman: she is an ideal. She is like a little Venus the way she comes out on stage, all tiny perfection. So for this to happen to somebody who is that adored, it really puts it into people’s minds that no-one is above getting this. It is that prevalent. It is a horrible shock for her but she has already saved an awful lot of people by being so brave about it.
Moving back to yourself, do you envisage having kids?
(laughs) Jaysis, you’re mad into your ten-year plans, aren’t ya? Eventually, yeah, but it’s not something I think about. Every big thing in my life suddenly comes into my mind and then it happens. I suddenly think "I need to buy my own place" and then I do it. But things don’t always happen like that. I decided I wanted to do television when I was 19 and still in college. I finished my degree and tried to get into television, but it didn’t happen for a good few years later. Having children is not on my immediate horizon. I’m a godmother and that’s plenty.
You are in a relationship at the moment. Does the fact that you are such a public figure make it difficult for your boyfriend?
It would if he was in any way influenced or affected by that. I do my job and then I go home. If I’m out and people come over to me, I speak to them. Often I’d get a woman coming over to me saying, "I’ve a wedding next week and I’m not sure whether to go with the trouser suit or the linen two-piece". I will chat to them but I’m not going "Oh, everyone’s looking at me". Attitude has an awful lot to do with it. You can work yourself up about things or not. I happen to be in this career and my face being attached to it goes along with it but that’s separate to me. I see myself as Caroline Morahan, and then there’s Caroline Morahan the brand. I’m very serious about my work. When I’m working I give it 110% but when I’m not working, I’m not.
I think if my boyfriend was a more vulnerable person or a less evolved person, maybe he would be affected by it, but we’re together quite a long time. I don’t socialise with people who buy into that element of things because it’s artificial and transient: so if they’re into velvet ropes being lifted, they can go find that elsewhere, those insincere disingenuous people who do the whole "Hi. Great to see you" kiss kiss kiss. Get out of my face.
You appeared as one of the celebrity chefs on The Kitchen. Are you a good cook?
Have you ever met a ‘foodie’ who isn’t? I put so much love into the kitchen (laughs). To me a good cook is someone who looks at a cupboard with half an onion and one slice of cheese and comes out with a five-course meal of delicacies. That’s my mum: she can do anything. I’m redundant if I don’t have everything I need, and the kitchen looks like a bomb went off in it. But if I do put the time in, the food will be gorgeous and highly calorific.
Would you ever consider going into politics? I’m sure some of our political parties would love to have Caroline Morahan on their election ticket.
God, I don’t think so, but there are so many simple things which make my blood boil.
Such as?
Like our situation with people coming here for protection and liberty and they’re packed off to Mosney, where they have no hope of education, of building a career. They are just in this vicious cycle of depraved poverty which is probably worse than what they’re coming from.
Irish people sometimes forget how many generations it is since we were the people arriving on others’ doorsteps looking for work. We did well in some places and horribly in others. There are so many elderly Irish people homeless in London because they’ve been sending money back home for 50 years and have nothing to show for it. We’re now doing the same here: we have people living one degree up from poverty. Things like that, if I could do something to change it, absolutely, but politics is not really something I’d consider.
What about acting? You appeared in Fair City as a teenager. Any more aspirations in that direction?
Working in television, you’re pretty much acting all the time. You might have been working for 12 hours but you still have to look bright as a button. But in terms of going for it, I went to see Lady Windemere’s Fan in the Gate last week, and I loved it. I love Jane Austen and Oscar Wilde and those sort of things make me think I’d love to act. But it was an either/or option when I was deciding on university and I felt that I’m not talented enough to be an actress.
You studied Communications at DCU. Did you enjoy it?
I loved it, especially the final year. I made the mistake of going out with someone when I was in college and spending too much time with that person and not mixing with my class. It was the final year that I really started to get into the swing of the social aspect of it, and then it was over.
You went from that into journalism, writing a fashion column and then a social diary. Did you and do you enjoy going to all those launches?
I’ve been going to loads of things recently because my filming schedule has stopped. I go to some things to support friends or sometimes because I have to interview somebody or maybe because I want to support the PR company, who need a few faces there. But when I was doing the social diary, it was bloody hard. I was there to work, not to swan around. Even now, when I’m at events, unless I’m surrounded by friends, I see it as a work thing.
You seem to very much separate your social life from your professional life. Would you be a social drinker?
Yeah, I go out. I like to have a few drinks. I’ve always been very sensible. I know what alcohol does to my head and to my skin. I don’t drink like a fish and I don’t like being around people who are legless. I like having fun but when people are inebriated and can’t talk to you, that’s not fun.
Over the years, especially writing the social diary, you must have seen people dabbling in things stronger than mere alcohol?
Actually, I must send out some sort of force-field. In Ireland, I’ve only ever been offered something like that once and I said to the person, "Please don’t ever speak to me again. Bye now." Maybe they told everyone. I actually feel nauseous in the presence of that.
At the same time, I’m very naïve: someone could be really chatty and someone else will tell me later that they’re off their face. But there is no middle ground with me: I have no tolerance for that at all. I think people who do it regularly have a personality disorder if they feel that they need that. It’s like you’re talking to someone without a soul because you’re not talking to them: you’re talking to something else. I’m sorry if you like to do it the odd time at a party, but it just makes me ill.
Even when I was a teenager and people were at that experimental stage, I said, "I don’t want to be your friend anymore," and I subsequently wasn’t. A lot of people that I was friends with had about a five-year black hole in their lives and then came back to normality. Those that didn’t are still no longer my friends. I just think it’s appalling.
There have been bits of coverage in the Irish press recently about its prevalence and some of the journalists writing it, even though it was supposed to be reportage, were actually glamorising it. What are you doing? I don’t take Paracetamol: why am I going to shovel crap up my nose?
What’s your view of the Antisocial Behaviour Order?
My worry with it is who’s going to be the person deeming what is antisocial and what’s not.
Apparently it’s going to be up to the discretion of the individual Gardaí.
Some Gardaí are idiots, but some of them are decent people. It would worry me that there are Gardaí who are obviously on a power trip. It’s fair enough if someone is screaming outside a window or something, that’s antisocial. But if people are just walking home and there happens to be more than two of them, suddenly it’s a gang. What do you think of it?
I would agree with you. I do think there is a problem with violence on the streets in this country but I don’t think this is the way to deal with it.
I think with a lot of the social problems in Ireland, it’s about catching them in the beginning and addressing the despicable chasms in society between the privileged and those who aren’t. I think that’s the foundation of all our problems, drugs, violence, all of that.
With alcohol, somebody who has everything going for them gets a few drinks and goes a bit crazy: that’s different. But a lot of our problems are with people who are coming in at the end of the food chain. Let’s put people in prison? You make them do three years and they come back with nothing only better ways to make money from other people in prison.
It harps back to your question on politics. Why are these people doing these things in the first place? Maybe because they brought themselves up and had nobody looking after them. There’s a lot could be learned from just addressing things in the beginning.
Are you religious?
(Nods)
Do you go to mass?
I do. I don’t go every Sunday but I do go to mass. I am very religious and sometimes that freaks people out because in Ireland, be religious, for young people, is seen as being a bit of a freak. But I do pray. I say my prayers going to bed. I believe that I’ve been really lucky but I believe that there is more going on than me: there’s a bigger picture. I wouldn’t toe the line with Catholicism, though. I believe in lots of things that don’t really fit in with the teachings there. And I also vehemently disagree with lots of things that are part of the teachings of Catholicism.
Such as?
Such as the idea that somebody can dictate to someone else that the way they live their life is wrong. Like homosexuality, for example. Jesus Christ, the person who we’re supposed to believe is the founder of our faith, said, "Love one another as I have loved you". Slapping rules on people doesn’t really fit in with that.
But I would pray regularly to a couple of saints in particular, which my boyfriend finds hysterical. When I was doing auditions for The Fame Game, which was the first programme I did, I would go down to Adam and Eve’s church on the quays and prayed to Saint Anthony and Saint Claire. Saint Anthony is the saint who, if you’ve lost something, sorts you out, or if you’ve got an intention. Saint Claire is the patron saint of scientific advances, like television. So I was like ‘Claire, hook me up’, and they have and do.
Some people find that really odd but I find it odd that so many people live in a completely detached way. They think the only thing going on is them and what they see. I’m very holistic in my attitudes. I know that everything I say and do affects people around me, so when I’m writing a script for a programme on Off The Rails, I’m thinking about the little old lady in Dingle, the 16-year-old who’s not happy about her body in Foxrock. I’m the same when I’m writing articles: that’s why I’m not going to say something nasty about somebody. What’s the benefit of that?
What do you think of the new Pope?
Someone told me he thought that rock music was the root of all evil. Was that a joke?
Apparently he’s not a fan of rock. And he’s also hostile towards gay people, the idea of women priests and the notion that priests should be allowed to marry.
Then I’m appalled that he was instated to that position. That’s despicable, for a start. Women priests? What’s the problem with that. Some people have such horrifically narrow ways of looking at things. It’s the same as just thinking about yourself all the time and being stuck in your own head. He happens to not to be gay so therefore he thinks the way he is is the right way to be. Besides, I read somewhere that a huge amount of priests actually are gay. Does he want to turf them all out? Is that his plan? Idiot. God love him. I hope those blinkers are snug.
What has been the lowest and highest moment in your life to date?
Lowest moment? (big pause) I can’t really think of a particular lowest moment. I’ve had difficulties in my life. I’ve had sickness in my family but I don’t really want to go into that. I’ve had an incredibly lucky life in that the sad things that have happened have been very manageable and have been necessary. Are you trying to get me to cry here or what? (smiles)
The highest moment?
When I was about 23, I taught a group of Spanish children English. That was definitely the highest and most rewarding thing in my career. One group I taught was really young and another was a group of teenagers. There was one girl who just did not fit in. She wasn’t easy to be around. She didn’t take part in class, wouldn’t speak and was obviously really unhappy. By the end of my three weeks with them, she was the lead in the play we put on. It was amazing to see her smile and I was blown away by the whole thing. Actually making an impact like that was just amazing.
The other high point in my life was the safe arrival of my sister’s baby, Ella Bo, last year. I kinda held my breath for nine months that she’d be OK and she’s amazing. She’s just hitting her cute phase the last few weeks and she’s adorable.

Chance To Dance is showing on RTE1 on Sunday nights are 8.30pm.