How to turn a woman on

hey say a woman knows whether or not she will sleep with a man within 30 seconds of meeting him. That’s mostly true, but being women we reserve the right to change our minds.

It’s one thing to realise that a man you’d dismissed as mere male wallpaper or strictly ‘friendship’ material is actually pretty damn hot. After all, every woman needs someone to perv over and pursue relentlessly until he is a spent wreck quivering on her bedspread. However its quite another to find yourself in a delicate situation with a member of the opposite sex and find that you’re just not all that keen.
We’ve all been there. The candles have been lit, a suitable shag soundtrack has been selected, various items of clothing lie scattered on the floor, but yet, something’s just not quite right. Twenty minutes ago you were horny as a hellcat, but now, well, frankly sleep is a more appealing.
Clearly, the problem is not that there was no sexual chemistry to begin with. Otherwise you’d never have ended up half naked together. But somewhere between the desperate kisses in the back of the taxi and now, it’s all fallen apart. Why? Instead of turning you on, your partner has managed to turn you right off.
Here’s one possible explanation. Bad foreplay is worse than no foreplay. If a woman is pulling off your pants with one hand and trying to rip open the Fetherlites with the other, rest assured, she’s ready, and tinkering with her nipples will not be needed or appreciated.
For the most part though, foreplay is a necessary part of the sexual contract. The Kinsey Institute found that almost all women can orgasm if they receive more than 21 minutes of foreplay. But foreplay is more than just vigorous rubbing of the nipples or lock-and-loading onto the clitoris – if you really want to turn a woman on, it should be a whole body experience.
The worst are the blokes who’ll tackle you with energy and enthusiasm, only to end up hurting you – but not in a good way. Any woman whose had her nipples pinched, her breasts pummelled or her clitoris rubbed as if it were a stubborn grease stain will know exactly what I’m on about. These areas are sensitive – you know that, that’s why you’re aiming for them in the first place, so don’t bloody well try to annihilate them.
Other men seem to think that foreplay is a three-step process: lips; breasts; vagina. Come on guys! Be creative! It’s the sexual equivalent of dinner and the movies – nice but predictable. A woman’s body is full of erogenous hotspots – pay attention to them.
Another mistake is being too eager. No woman likes to have her panties invaded until she’s good and ready. What feels great when she’s wet, feels uncomfortable when she’s not. Chances are, playing with her in this state is more likely to ensure that she doesn’t lubricate at all. And it’s embarrassing too – a little like how you’d feel if she pulled down your boxers to find your manhood like a scared little animal cowering in the bushes.
The female pleasure spots are as follows: neck, ears, scalp, lips, breasts, fingers and toes, small of her back, bum, inner thighs, perineum, inner and outer vagina and her clitoris. Some of these may not have the rapid-fire response of the clitoris, but you should try to include at least three of them in any foreplay. Mix it up. Surprise us. We’ll like it.
It’s eagerness that causes a man to aim for the breasts when he’d be better served paying attention to some of the less obvious erogenous zones. If you’re trying to seduce an impressionable young lady with your dubious charms, it would be hard to do better than paying close attention to her head and neck. These areas are full of sensitive spots and should be explored like you’re Columbus freshly landed on America.
The neck has got to be a number-one turn on for almost all women. Lick it, kiss it, caress it or nibble it – it’s all good. Very, very good. Just save the Dracula act for a woman who’s into that kinda thing. We may have worn hickeys with pride at thirteen, but after that they are just embarrassing.
Don’t stop at the neck, rub on up to the scalp. Why do you think we spend hundreds of euros at expensive hairdressers? It’s for the head massages. I followed a hairdresser through three different salons because he always spent half an hour kneading my head before getting down to the job at hand. Money well spent. I love a man who’ll pay attention to my head, rub it, stroke my hair or even brush it for me. It’s a complete turn-on.
Most women like attention and we want to feel special. An easy way to achieve this is to look your partner in the eyes while gently caressing her face. It makes us feel sexy, but vulnerable, like you are trying to make love to our souls.
The ears are full of nerve endings and are really sensitive. I love to have my earlobes stroked and gently pulled. Nibbling, licking and kissing the outer ear is a delicious experience for the recipient and one that’s almost guaranteed to get results. However, this hotspot can also be a danger zone. Some women love tongue in the ear, but most – myself included – find this repellent. Not to worry: just ask! Besides, even if that is a bridge too far, if your lover is working successfully around the ear, you also get to hear his excitement, which is a huge turn-on for almost every woman.
There are some things guaranteed turn off a woman, and a number of things that will turn her on. A smart man should know the difference. For many women, foreplay is the best part of sex – but you have to do it right. Nature has given you a great gift – everything you need to ensure you get below the belt is right there above the shoulders. Use this knowledge wisely.b