Glad To Have Gay

At a time when Gay Bryne is back in the news, as a result of his slagging match with Eamon Dunphy, it seems pretty appropriate that a play about Gaybo’s influence on at least one fan is being staged in Dublin. The play, called Are You Listening To Me, Gaybo?, was written by Mary Halpin, is directed by Alan Stanford and performed by Billie Traynor. So what’s it all about?

“The play centres around the fact that this woman is living alone though there is, ostensibly, the presence of a small child hovering in the background,” says Billie. “But she has no one in her life at the start of the play. Her husband has left her for a younger woman. And her daughter has come home to see her and gone back to England. So Are You Listening To Me Gaybo? actually opens with this woman trying to turn on the radio and finding that the daughter has taken the batteries for her vibrator! That sets the tone of the play, which is deadpan hilarious, in ways. Though deadly serious underneath.”
And so, sans batteries, this woman proceeds to address Gay Byrne as though he was actually in her home. He is “the comfort and the company” she seeks.
“And he’s the only company and comfort she’s found in her life,” Billie continues, suggesting this was part of a “social, emotional and even spiritual service” Gay performed for many women in Ireland, during the years of his radio show. “She actually says, at one point, ‘I think of you as a pal, Gay Byrne, the housewives’ friend, it’s like having a husband who actually listens’. And that is a super line and what the play is all about, at its heart.”
But that’s not even half the story. Because this woman also has the not insignificant matter of a young child to deal with in her personal life, in addition to “taking in” a young lodger from Amsterdam, in every sense. Meaning we have a Graduate scenario because she, like the mythical Mrs. Robinson, “fancies the pants off” this young man. So does Billie recommend that older women should, eh, take in toy boys?
“Having tried it myself, yes!” she responds, frankly. Yet did the affair last? “Does it have to!” she says, laughing. “But, seriously, meeting this young man does help the woman enormously. Though, again, how he does I’d rather leave for people to find out when they see the play.”
Well, I can guess one way he helps. But what about the “help” Gaybo gave. Now that he now longer does his morning radio show who do all the lonely housewives of Ireland turn to? Gerry Ryan, perhaps?
“She actually says ‘good-bye’ to Gay at the end of this play,” Billie replies. “She says, ‘don’t take this wrong but it’s like I don’t need you anymore’. But that, to me, is a social statement. Because I think Gay Byrne brought several generations of Irish women through all sorts of developments and growth. Yet, this woman even refers to Gerry Ryan. But what she says to Gay is – and Gerry saw this play! – ‘there’s nothing you won’t talk to us about – our bodies, our sex lives, the problems we have with our daughters. And you do it all discreetly. Never in a dirty way, like yer man Gerry Ryan’!”

Are You Listening To Me Gaybo? is running in Andrew’s Lane Theatre until September 13