Fate

IF THERE S the proverbial book in all of us, mine s going to be called America: A Nation Of Very Rich And Gullible People.
Should that sound unduly harsh, consider if you will this classified in the current issue of Fate:
Wish Machine II Tachyon Thoughtform Generator. Proven technology by government scientists. Instant Radionics just hold the patented handles and visualise what you want. That s it!
The cost of this portal to untold joy and fulfilment? A mere $710, freight included.
With X-Files fever still gripping the States, one assumes that the International Association of Past Therapists has been inundated with requests from people who want to Become a certified E.T. Abduction Counsellor via Home Study! A quick check of their www.pastlives.com website reveals that this will cost you a suitably spooky $335.
But let s not sully or should that be Scully? ourselves with such fiscal matters. As you d expect from a magazine that carries True Reports Of The Strange & Unknown , the Minnesota monthly is bursting with exclusives. Did you realise, for instance, that Jesus had a younger sibling called James? More astonishing still is that Jimbo regularly appears before Florida medium Marilyn Raphael, and tells her that far from dying on the cross, Jesus was whisked off to India where he enjoyed a long and happy retirement.
Marilyn Manson responsible for the Columbine killings? Not according to a Californian pagan priestess who argues that since the massacre occurred on Adolph (sic) Hitler s 110th birthday, the spirits of dead Nazis may have inspired the shooting as a birthday present to their Fuhrer.
Proof that aliens are not only living among us, but have managed to get poacher-turned-gamekeeper jobs as UFO research scientists is provided by the picture of the extraterrestrial calling itself Stan Gordon . One look at that elongated neck of his and you know that Stan is not of this world.
Call me a pedant if you like, but as such firm believers in prophesy, you wonder why Fate has any need for a Things To Come column. They do, though, and in it we re told to look forward to a report on how East Grinstead in England has become a Mecca for New Age religions. This is no doubt down to its well-appointed dole office, and branch of Didgeridoos-R-Us.
Anyway, can t hang around. I ve a letter to post to the reincarnated gypsy witch living in Laguna Beach, California. Three questions, eight dollars. Oh yeah, and an s.a.e. You can t expect these black magic types to pay for their own stamps.
Stuart Clark