Brunker Mentality

Amanda Brunker thinks she might be dreaming. Against all expectations, her debut novel, Champagne Kisses, has shot straight to number one in the best-seller charts.
Aside from the thrill of penning a blockbuster, the former Miss Ireland feels her success is a two-fingered salute to the begrudgers who had dismissed her raunchy novel before it was even released. Last year, when Brunker let slip that she was determined to publish a novel – even if it meant having to use her own SSIA money to do so – it was suggested in some media quarters that she’d be lucky to find a publisher.
But the 34-year-old Sunday Worldcolumnist quickly secured a substantial book deal with a major UK company. She now feels completely vindicated – living well, it seems, is the best revenge.
“It proved to an awful lot of people that I’m not just the bimbo blond with the big tits,” says Brunker, as she sits down in Dublin’s Central Hotel for a pint and a chat with Hot Press.
“The whole bimbo, big boobs reference is always an easy dig – and I just kind of roll with it. It genuinely doesn’t bother me. But it is kind of sweet when you do something like this and it turns out well and people are kind of going 'Bitch!'"

JASON O’TOOLE: Champagne Kisses is a very steamy book. Were you worried what your parents might make of it?
AMANDA BRUNKER: I’m actually a prude, but that doesn’t mean I’m embarrassed by writing or talking about sex. Actually, my Dad rang me and said, “I’m having an awful lot of trouble dealing with the lesbian bits. But apart from that, we are getting through it.” (laughs). I don’t think my family get shocked by any of my actions or my words any more. This one’s raunchy. It’s not your average chick-lit book. I’ve been calling it 'raunch-lit'. I don’t know what else to call it. I’d like to think that it’s different from what’s on the market at the moment. This book is not going to change the world. I’m not looking for a Booker Prize or anything like that. I had a great laugh when I was writing it. I’d just sit there cackling away in my little box room, typing away on my laptop.
How old were you when you first became interested in the opposite sex?
I was a real tomboy, so I was always around boys. I never really got on well with girls. But I was always around boys – I went to a mixed school. Boys were never foreign to me. I was nine when I had my first kiss at the local disco. He was also from Finglas. I fancied him rotten. I can’t say it was a spectacular kiss but it was a milestone!
When did you lose your virginity?
I was 16. I was in love. I’d waited. All my friends had put out when they were about 12 and 13! And I thought that was really gross. I held out. I wanted to make it special. I went out with him for a year before it happened. I’m a serial monogamist actually! It was all planned. I remember we went for a drink beforehand. We went to the International Bar and had a pint there. Then we went to his place and all the rest! It was very sweet at the time.
Were you disappointed with your first time?
You’re clearly not a woman! There’s no such thing as a pleasurable first time for a woman (laughs)! It was not necessarily pleasurable but I really felt that I had become a woman. I suppose it was quite a monumental thing. You look back and think how pathetic it all was but, at the time it was romantic.
They say you always love the first person you were with. Is that true for you?
I’m well over him! There were definitely more memorable ones after him (laughs)! I’ve gone out with some guys for long periods of time and you are still going to have a part of you that’s going to care about them, I suppose. But we’ve definitely moved on from all of our exes!
Growing up did you question your own sexuality?
No. People are asking me that now – especially since the book, because there are a couple of lesbian scenes in it. You know, I have kissed girls – and the terribly disappointing thing is, it’s not much different from kissing a bloke. It wasn’t as exciting as I thought it might be. But saying that, girls do taste sweeter! When I was a young, free and single on the party scene there were a couple of occasions when I kissed girls. I’m definitely straight. Definitely hetero from the waist down! Kissing is fine, but after that...
You haven’t been tempted to take it further?
Definitely not. I like meat (laughs)! Normally when I’ve kissed a girl there has been a guy about! It would be just more of a tease thing, really. I wouldn’t get turned on by two men kissing – women don’t – but men do find it erotic to see two women kissing. I suppose it’s because the woman’s body is, generally speaking, more beautiful.
Do you enjoy using sex toys?
No. They're not for me at all. Honestly, it does nothing for me. I was never tempted by sex toys. I remember being given a present of a ‘rampant rabbit’ and when I switched it on, I was like, “My God! It’s so bloody loud! That’s just going to put me off”. I’m a prude when it comes to sex toys. They are not stuffed in any wardrobe or closet in my house.
What did you look for in a man when you were single?
I was never necessarily looking for a rich man! I had always wanted to make my own money. But I always liked a funny guy. It was a stereotypical case of liking somebody who could make me laugh. And obviously somebody who could make me feel good about myself. And obviously somebody that turned me on! I have a very quirky taste in men. I don’t go for your stereotypical Brad Pitt types. I’ve kissed a few male models, but they wouldn’t necessarily float my boat. I also like totally straight guys. There are very few straight men in this town! Nearly everybody in this town is bi-curious. I found it very hard to find a totally straight man in the Dublin scene. That’s why, when I found my fiancé, I held onto him tight!
What are your thoughts on one-night stands?
I’ve had plenty of one-night stands down the years. I think that, once you are a reasonably good judge of character, it can be great (laughs)! Once you find somebody who is not going to murder you or rape you or tie you up and gag you or whatever. I’ve had some great one-night stands.
Did you ever have any regrets about any of your one-night stands? Did you wake up the next morning and go, “Oh my God! What happened?!”
There was one very dodgy one actually! But we got rid of him fairly quick! He was over-eager first thing in the morning. I woke up to find somebody crawling all over me with a...(laughs). I was like, “Get off me!” He was a bit of a strange character! But no – generally speaking, I’ve been very lucky and very careful with my one-night stands.
What are your thoughts on “friends” sleeping with each other on a regular basis?
Fuck buddies? Is there a nicer term? Booty calls? I think it’s great for single people. I know somebody at the moment who’s got a regular booty call and he’s just using her for sex and she is kind of in love with him, but she’s happy to take it. So, in that regard, it’s pretty crap. There was once a guy who I might have hooked up with a few times – but only if there was nobody better or if there was nobody else (laughs). That’s fine for a little while.
So would you have been a predator when it came to getting men in your formative, single years?
It wouldn’t be like I’d wake up one morning and say, “I’m horny as hell!”. It would probably be more like, “It’s a Saturday night – I’m out and I’m looking for a bit of fun”. You know, I can be as naughty as the next person (laughs). I wish that I had that type of Angelina Jolie sexual predator instinct in me, but I’m more of a pussy cat – between the sheets! Mind you, I do bite (laughs) without being asked!
So, you have a wild streak?
Yes, I do. But I’m probably not as wild as people think, which is probably very disappointing (laughs).I definitely have a filthy mind, which I think I’ve proved in Champagne Kisses. But I’m not getting as much of it as I would like at the moment – being a mammy of two small boys!
What are your thoughts on threesomes?
My motto is: “The more the merrier (laughs)!” I have been in a jacuzzi and I have kissed more than one person! You work it out. That’s my line and I’m sticking to it.
I hear you’re going to get your breasts reduced?
I’m going to get the job done, hopefully next year. I don’t have the boobs I used to. I want the boobs that I had about six or seven years ago. I used to have great boobs.
You look great to me!
I’ve got scaffolding on now! I’m slimmer now than before I started making babies. I don’t look in the mirror anymore because you realise that you’re actually getting older. It’s very disappointing when you look in the mirror and you go, “Shit! I am actually old now”.
Did you ever consider posing for Playboy?
I was offered Playboy. They were recruiting for a special Irish lingerie edition. I went down to interview some of the girls and they asked me if I would do it. I went, “Oh, God! Don’t be stupid, I’m too old,” and they were like, “No... no... no”. But they were only offering 500 quid. I was like, “Look, if you hike it up a little bit then I might be tempted. But 500 quid! I’m not getting my kit off for that!” Maybe I’ll do a Nancy Sinatra on it when I’m 50. When I’ve had loads of plastic surgery and everything is just in the right place – I might think about doing it then. Why not? If it was tastefully done, if there was a lot of soft focus – then we might be able to do it (laughs). And a lot of hair extensions – just to cover me up!
You hit the headlines a few years ago when you had an affair with the actor James Nesbitt.
It was a fling. I was 25 and I’d just come out of a relationship – I had been going out with somebody for six years. I was in my ‘living it up’ stage. It was more of a ‘partners in crime’ kind of thing. We got on really well. It was a short fling. It’s all over now. It’s very old news. To be honest, when the relationship was exposed we already hadn’t seen each other in three years.
How did you feel about seeing your private life splashed all over the tabloids?
We all have a past and, unfortunately, mine’s just that little bit more colourful than most people's. You know, nothing really bothers me. But it bothered my family. I was in a serious relationship when it all came out – and it was splashed all over the papers like it was a current thing. I was going “I have not seen this bloke in like three years! Enough already. This is old news.”
You said that it bothered your family. I presume your mother was annoyed because the fling was with a married man?
My mum didn’t talk to me for a while. She was disappointed in me. That’s totally understandable and, in a lot of ways, I was disappointed in myself because it was something that I said I’d never do. But, you know, we have all moved on. All of us. Everyone. At the time I was offered £40,000 – as it was back then – from different tabloid newspapers to tell my story and I turned it down. And the story came out. They said, “Listen we are writing this story, anyway”. And I said, “That’s fine – do whatever you have to do”. In retrospect, I probably should have fucking sold the story because I got the grief for it anyway. I probably would have been on the property ladder a hell of a lot earlier. People that I know well still believe that I sold the story – and I didn’t. The story came out and I then made a comment on it after the story was out. I felt obliged to respond through the Sunday World, to express my side of the story. I obviously apologised to his wife and basically and stated it was old news for everyone concerned.
What’s next for Amanda Brunker?
Another book. And obviously I’d love to see a movie based on Champagne Kisses. That would be cool, wouldn’t it? I think they’d probably need to cut a few of the raunchy bits out.