Same Old Story

Bloody hell. The more things change... Allegations abound. Builders and bozos. Land rezoning. Contributions. Yes. Money changing hands. Brown envelopes, used notes. But to whose benefit? And when it's over, will we have a better, more open, a more honest system? Will we fuck!

So, as I write, an unsubstantiated claim made (not under oath) by one of the players has the Taoiseach on the run. The diaries are out. The facts will follow.

Well, the Catholic fundamentalists will rejoice. And Flynn? Ah! Flynn!! Jaysus, what can you say? The panto dame of Irish politics opened his mouth to change feet. Incredible.

Flynn has done Trojan work in Europe on behalf of the disadvantaged, and to promote a more equitable employment environment. His efforts were never likely to be fully appreciated or acknowledged in Ireland, even by Fianna Fáil adherents. Too many people can't uncouple the country and western image, the Flynnstone cowboy. Too many refuse to believe that an Irish Commissioner could be as effective as Flynn undoubtedly has been.

But he was good. Very good. Ask anyone in other European countries. Then, in a single amazing act of immolation he wiped the slate clean of all his achievements and revealed himself again in all his gobby splendour.

He hadn't gone away, you know...

I wouldn't know, but I suspect that Bertie Ahern wishes a huge hole would open up and swallow the beloved Commissioner. And for sure, Mary Harney wants him away out of it all.

But ye can't get rid of him all that easy! Oho no!! Especially since many of the other Commissioners have been under the cosh recently, and Pee was very supportive of them all. They won't be pushing him. Moreover, we're entering a very sensitive phase in our relationship with Europe. Flynn will be important in nuancing the next round of Structural Funds. While everybody wants the moral high ground, nobody wants it to cost us a billion euros. Do they?

With this controversy, of course, go Ireland's chances of the presidency of the EU Commission. Flynn might have had a chance. And no, I'm not saying that would have been a good thing. Not by a long shot.

There are two other Irish people who might yet take the big one—a position on a par with President of the USA and, I suppose, leader of China. Peter Sutherland is one. But one would guess that his many big directorships would be too big a loss, and that his boat has come and gone.

The other is Dick Spring. He's already being talked about as a senior Eurocrat in the diplomatic arena. If he was a Commissioner, there is no doubt that he'd be a big fish. But it's all a big if.

Should these scenarios not come to pass, it gets more byzantine. Would Harney want it? They say her seat is at risk in West Dublin. Or Des O'Malley? There's even whispers that it might be offered to Proinsias De Rossa. Oho, very clever! Machiavelli, where are ya?!!

Who knows? Remember the Government's need to avoid by-elections. But if you want a really smart guess, put a wager on the enigmatic Brian Crowley. Fianna Fáil aristocracy, clean as a whistle, very smart, Euro MP...

The man even sings.

Whoever. The new Commission will be a duller lot, but then, we'll be into the new millennium. Perhaps probity will be the order of the day. We'll be leaving corruption to the eastern Europeans, and facing up to some very ugly questions.

But before all that, even as we speak, Europe should be facing up to the encroaching horror of Kosovo. Last week it emerged that dozens of Kosovar civilians had been slaughtered by Yugoslav police in the village of Račak.

How many? Who knows? 50? 55? They're still discovering bodies as I write. All had been shot in the head. The facts have been attested to by UN observers. There are witnesses...

And it gets worse. Several days after the massacre was reported, Serbian police removed the bodies, and the Yugoslav government declared the UN's William Walker persona non grata.

Yeah, it was revoked soon after, when the Russians basically backed the NATO position. But these bastards keep outdoing themselves. I'm a pacifist, a believer in reason and negotiation. But now and then I get a feeling, a primordial urge...

It passes, and I always feel ashamed. And that's the point. The Serbs fought bravely against the Nazis. Their enemies included the Croats, led and urged by Franciscan monks, who committed monstrous war crimes. But time has moved on. And the Serbs have not. They behave as though they're still fighting the partisan war, that right is on their side, that monstrosity is justified by war...

I keep trying not to advocate bombing. And trying. But it's hard, isn't it?

Meanwhile, US athlete Dennis Mitchell maintains that it was a marathon love-making session that caused him to fail a dope test. He claimed to have had sex four times, and drank six bottles of beer, the night before he was randomly tested...

Yeah, right.

The evidence was presented to the USA Track and Field authorities. Apparently he claimed that the sex and beer caused him to produce extra quantities of testosterone. And this was accepted!

His two-year suspension was lifted. The man was released into the sunshine. It means, I think, that he can compete in the USA, but not elsewhere. Yet. That's up to the IAAF, which may be less accommodating...

Sets you wondering, doesn't it? Beer and sex. Testosterone. Enhanced performance. Beer and sex.

Huh!

— The Hog