Bertie's watery world

After five years when the tide flowed in his favour and so little mud stuck to him they called him the Teflon Taoiseach, it all started to go awry for Bertie in 2003. Controversy erupted over the Campus Stadium Ireland project, and specifically (and prophetically) the Waterworld element.

Here’s the problem: Waterworld UK was part of the successful consortium. But it is only a shelf company. Having originally been handpicked for the CSI project by Ahern, Paddy Teahon was stood down by the Government. This followed on a highly critical report by the Attorney General Michael McDowell.

Needs must, there was an election on the way. In due course, the Government was re-elected comfortably, and on a day of deluge at that. Indeed, Bertie came within an ace of an overall majority.

But it was a poisoned chalice. Although we enjoyed an Indian summer that hinted at redemption, the public finances were in complete disarray and Campus Stadium Ireland was abandoned in September, though the Olympic size swimming pool was not.

The project’s demise was bad news for the Taoiseach. It was worse news for Ireland’s bid to co-host the European Championships in 2008. Oho, the shenanigans that ensued as the FIFA delegation came to assess, and were shown Abbotstown, a site where a stadium would not be built, and Croke Park, a stadium where soccer would not be played...

Then even the weather turned. Jasus, so saturated was the ground and so blocked the drainage system in Dublin, that the rains could go nowhere. In particular, the River Tolka suppurated and burst, through County Meath and north Dublin. Of all places, it rose up in Drumcondra, metres deep. It seemed that Waterworld had come to the Taoiseach’s own streets, leaving a filthy mucky legacy in its wake.

You’d almost think there was some malign irony at work.