THE DOTTED LINE

My first question was why any band in their right minds would want to sign with a manager who was practically bribing them into signing with his company and giving them virtually no time to reflect on what was a complex contract, or find an experienced solicitor.
The contract itself was another minefield. The management company wanted to manage all the affairs of the act for a percentage of their gross income and were offering nothing in return other than to use their best endeavours (whatever that means) on behalf of the band. The band would play and record what, when and wherever the management decided.
As this extraordinary contract included tying the band to the management s record and publishing company it effectively gave the management all the rights to the band s songwriting material, recording material and gigging income. Notwithstanding the conflict of interest inherent in a manager negotiating with himself as the record company and the publishing company, the band were getting no guaranteed royalties and no advance for either their record deal or their publishing deal and this contract was for the world!
Of course the band didn t really want to hear any of this nonsense from me. The manager had whispered all sorts of comforting words and I was just being negative, they said, and later told me, as if in spite, that they d signed the deal, so there, yah boo. So that s the last we ll hear of them, I reckon.
This may not be a problem likely to confront The Free Electric Beer Machine. They ve put together a multi-styled, cut and paste demo under the misapprehension that making funny noises, singing in silly voices, playing out-of-tune guitars and performing as atonally (and as anally) as possible is something worth giving time to.
In fact, you won t be surprised to learn that the best bits are when they try less hard to be really weird, like on Rory s Fishing Tackle .
This is work in progress for The Free Electric Beer Machine, who have an admirable disdain for musical conventions. But there s little point in breaking the rules if the result is only to prove why they were invented in the first place. Of course the intention may be merely to shock people out of their torpor, a noble intention in itself, but I fear it ll require some more work to bring it off.
Larry Moran from Kenmare comes from the more conventional wing of the musical spectrum with a CD of predictably crafted songs very well played in a soft-rock style, adequately recorded and eschewing any notion of musical adventurism. Moran has a rich voice suitable for the sophisticated pop songs he writes and performs and there s no obvious reason why the massed listening public would not take to Larry himself if he got the breaks.
It s Seduction and Downbeat World could be serious winners for singers of the calibre of Jack L or Tom Jones respectively. Now is a slightly funkier slowy, if less immediately catchy. Larry has all the ingredients with which to make a real go provided he learns to play the industry and media game.
Peco from Pedestrienne writes to tell me that the band used to be known as the Diesel Queens and they are currently saving to release Get Lucky Pop as a single. In its present form on the CD demo it comes across as a slowish but infectiously catchy song with a neat ba-ba-da-da chorus, but I hope they re-record it before putting it out as a single. It still feels like a demo and that may affect crucial radio exposure. Their second track is Just Wanted To Know which opens like the Bee Gees I Started A Joke before it finds it feet as a modern twist on sixties Merseybeat. All in all, a very worthy effort. It s not often one comes across a young Irish band who know what choruses are, so one can only join in.
Meanwhile, That Icon of Loveliness from Cork, last mentioned here in October, are back with their unwieldy name and a brand new CD demo called Drums, Tambourines and Whispers. Unfortunately, it refused to play on any of my CD players.
LESSON OF THE FORTNIGHT: Things can occasionally go wrong during CD duplication or in the postal system, so before you send out a demo tape or CD, listen to it to ensure, (a) that it plays and (b) that it sounds like you want it to.