Who would be the last person you would invite to your birthday party?
Right now, I’d say quite a number of these politicians running the UK. Matt Hancock is stunningly useless. And any trophy hunting prick you can think of. They wouldn’t even be the last person I would invite, they just wouldn’t be invited. End of.

Who would be the first person you would invite to your birthday party?
Ricky Gervais. I don’t know him. But if someone could sort that out I’d appreciate it.

Favourite saying?
And fate whispered to the wolf “you can’t survive the storm” and the wolf whispered back “I am the fuckin’ storm”. That or “Ask me bollix”.

Favourite record?
I’m listening to Sinnerman by Nina Simone a lot. It’s on my playlist for the next gig. So that one.

Favourite book?
Right now I’m reading the remarkable Hellraisers. The debauched lives of Richard Burton, Richard Harris, Oliver Reed and Peter O’Toole. Although I almost threw the fuckin’ thing away after reading the first line of the book, “They are the four most extraordinary and controversial film stars Britain ever produced...”. Britain produced them did she?! Where’s Richard Harris from again? Peter O’Toole? Thankfully I didn’t.

Favourite film?
Rocky. That’ll never change actually. That’s a forever moment.

Favourite author?
I suppose Deepak. His book Seven Spiritual Laws has done more for my life than any other. It’s changed it for the better. So let’s go with him.

Favourite actor/actress?
Philip Seymour Hoffman. Daniel Day Lewis. Anyone with three parts to their name.

Favourite musician?
Right now I’m listening to a lot of Donny Hathaway. So let’s go with that genius. For now.

Most embarrassing moment of your life?
One drunken evening in the depths of Morocco, I was celebrating my birthday. On a day off and flanked by the cast, studio and network bosses of a show I was doing, my birthday cake was ceremoniously brought out by our esteemed leader. Instead of blowing out the candles, I headbutted the cake for reasons no one, not even me, can fathom. That said, I ain’t been drunk since. That was five years ago.

Favourite food/drink/stimulant?
Indian food/water/G&T or coffee.

TV programme?
The most recent one I watched that was absolutely brilliant was The Great. It’s on Amazon. Find it....

Favourite TV personality?
First one that comes to mind is Graham Norton. He’s so good.

Favourite item of clothing?
Very old PJs. Not the suit, just the bottoms. When they go on, that’s me in for the night. Sometimes I slap those bad boys on at 3pm. I’m not proud of it. But also, I kinda am.

Most desirable date?
Not including my wife, he says as a disclaimer… top of my head, Rachel McAdams.

Favourite method of relaxation?
I’m hoping the date.

If you weren’t pursuing your present career, what other career might you have chosen?
Serious answer, I was gonna do criminal psychology. That or journalism.

Biggest thrill?
Achieving a goal.

Biggest disappointment?
I’m gonna plead the fifth on this.

Your concept of heaven?
Once smoked BUFO, which is frog venom used for spiritual and healing practices. It’s also known as the “molecule of God”. That was complete nirvana. Complete awareness. Complete connection to presence, to everything. Words fail to capture what that feeling was. But I carry it with me today. Like a faint echo. I imagine that’s what heaven is.

Your concept of hell?
I want to say 2020. But for all its shit, my son was born in July. So even hell isn’t without its piece of heaven.

What would be your dying words?
That was quick.

Greatest ambition?
Happiness.

Period of history you’d most like to have lived in and why?
Sixties or ’70s in NYC. That sentence also works with just NYC.

If you weren’t a human being which animal would you have chosen to be?
Well it wouldn’t be a land animal. I’ve explored that. So a great white.

If you were told that the world was ending tomorrow morning, how would you react/what would you do?
I’d Zoom call my entire family and tell them how much I love them. Then we’d all sit eating and getting intoxicated together without fear of a hangover the next day.

Your nominee for the world’s best-dressed person?
Couldn’t even fake caring about that.

Favourite term of abuse?
Cunt.

Biggest fear?
The ocean.

Humanity’s most useful invention?
Prayer. If used the right way.

Humanity’s most useless invention?
Prayer. If used the wrong way. That and pockets on baby clothes. I mean, what the fuck?

•  Emmett J. Scanlan features in Virgin Media One’s new Irish drama The Deceived.