Czech Out Creamfields

It may be hard to believe now, but just 48 hours before Prague was sandbagging against devastating floods that threw Central and Eastern Europe into chaos, I was walking among 20,000 party people largin’ it at the region’s first ever Creamfields event. At the time of writing, the city is still under siege from the river Vltava – perilously threatening the beautiful Old City’s architecture that has survived two World Wars and countless revolutions. Even old 007 himself Sean Connery has made a plea for aid and assistance for the Czech capital, where he is currently shooting his new movie entitled Scotch With Water, no doubt substituting his Bond-era vodka martinis for a stiff drop of the hard stuff.

Amazingly, prior to this national state of emergency, Creamfields Prague perfectly coincided with the warmest and driest day this year in the Czech Republic. It’s a rare and unforgettable sight to witness fireflies buzzing over the festival tents and hear crickets singing in the nearby meadows around the perfectly proportioned and compact festival site at Roundnice Nad Labem Airfield, located just outside the city’s boundaries. Also, compared to the omnipresence of mud and muck at virtually every Irish festival, this one was much, much cleaner in more ways than one. For starters, the Czechs know how to party, not how to turn into gormless zombies.

Much of the crowd has driven here from various locations throughout Central and Eastern Europe. Berlin, for example, is only four hours away. These well turned out, slick ravers appear a much more laidback and calm bunch than the gurning hedonists that characterise Irish dance festivals. There are much fewer whistles and glow-sticks in evidence, and the only contingent of lads with their tops off were, unsurprisingly, four Irish lads giving it socks in the Kenvelo Techno Factory, proudly raving for Ireland with their arms aloft, dancing on each others’ backs and waving two huge tricolours. On approaching them to say hello, it was immediately apparent that they had also lost their capacity for speech somewhere along the way. Their frazzled minds seemed lost in the throbbing techno of Kaisersoze, not that they would have had any idea who the hell was playing in the first place.

While club and dance scenes in Ireland and the UK have undoubtedly stagnated in recent months, Eastern Europe has been flourishing in both a commercial and underground sense. A few days before Creamfields Prague, the lovely named ‘Czech Tech’ festival rocked for an entire five days from a Thursday right through to Tuesday, also attracting tens of thousands of people. At Creamfields, the over-reliance of familiar names was refreshingly absent, as was the ludicrous 2am curfew Irish revellers are stumped with.

The bill was headed by Underworld, who have been signed up for all three European Creamfields events. Interestingly, according to Cream’s Jim King, over half the crowd decided to show only when they heard the news that Underworld had definitely arrived in the country. “I’m overjoyed,” he raves. “This was a risk. There have been a number of large events here (Ozzfest has already been on this summer at the Strahov Stadium), but the problem is that a lot of big acts don’t tour Central Europe that much because it isn’t a big record market compared to Japan or the US. So, it’s more lucrative to tour in Japan, Asia, America and Northern and Western Europe.”

“A lot of events have taken place (here) were bands have been advertised but haven’t turned up or weren’t even booked in the first place. That presented a lot of problems early on. People said, “Yeah, great poster. But are they really going to be there?” Therefore so many thousands of people are trying to get in tonight because they’ve heard that Underworld are actually here and Kosheen, DJ Shadow and Paul Oakenfold are all here. I just had a chat with the guys from Underworld and they said that they were very happy that they had come. They said they wouldn’t have come if we hadn’t booked them – and I don’t mean that as in any way detrimental to local promoters who have been fantastic – it just shows the obstacles that they’ve had to overcome and the resistance from big artists who tour Europe. If we play a little part in increasing the activity here then I’d feel very happy about that.”

Jiri Pokorny, head of the JPA Group and local Creamfields promoter went even further to say: “Creamfields is the most exciting thing to happen in the Czech Republic since the revolution in 1989.”

Fittingly for such a landmark event, which Jim King considers “the most successful first year event we’ve ever had”, the bill has a much more varied international flavour than just another line up of your usual omnipresent UK suspects. No sign of Judge Jules or Seb Fontaine, but plenty of more exotic treats such as Corvin Dalek from Hungary, Tiga from Germany, DJ Shadow from the USA, Cream’s South American resident Hernan Cattaneo and plenty of Czech talent.

Among the tiny handful of UK names, London’s X-Press 2 do themselves proud. The trio pump out fresh house that is funkier and tougher than most. Whatever about their passable if overplayed single ‘Lazy’, featuring a David Byrne vocal that mutated into that ultra-annoying Irish World Cup song, their Muzikium long player and corresponding choice of stompers is a delight. Ashley Beedle MCs and Rocky and Diesel steer the backroom of six decks and three mixers for a three whole hours without ever sounding tired or jaded.

Bizarrely, the live stage is title sponsored by the energy drink Semtex, which somehow I can’t picture being involved in many Creamfields Belfast events in the future. Still, I’d recommend a few doses of Vodka and Semtex to anyone as a tasty alternative to chemicals. There is plenty of nice Pilsner Ursquiler beer around as well. While not quite as appealing in a lukewarm can as an ice cold draught in a traditional Czech pub (mmm!) – it’s a nice change from the lager and stout selection at outdoor events back home.

While they might have warmed up in a Vienna club the night previously, this is officially Underworld’s first festival headliner in two years and also their first monster show since the departure of Darren Emerson. Despite a dreadfully disappointing lack of volume at the back, they play a blinder, peppering their set with the classics; ‘Cowgirl’, ‘Rowla’, ‘Moaner’, ‘King Of Snake’, ‘Pearl’s Girl’, ‘Dark Train’, alongside the wonderfully proggy new single ‘Two Months Off’ where Karl Hyde dons a guitar for the first time in a couple of years. The crowd lap up their first ever Czech performance, going gaga for ‘Born Slippy’. A towering performance from Messrs. Hyde and Smyth is capped beautifully with a spectacular fireworks display that is wonderfully choreographed and executed.

It’s 2am, and that usually means bus time at similar beanfests back home, but this baby rocks on way past breakfast so time for another blast of Semtex. Paul Oakenfold is rocking the second outdoor stage like the seasoned old pro and DJ war-horse he is. While in the past I’ve found his sets bordering on predictable cheesemeister territory, tonight I can find little fault to be found with his fluid mixing, expert ear and eye for the right tune at the right moment, knack for working the crowd and boundless enthusiasm. “I personally didn’t know what to expect,” Oakie reflects. “I came here five years ago to a club and it was good but I never expected this.”

Oakenfold is knackered but as up for it as ever. Its easy to see how this booking would appeal to the globetrotting Paul and his record box, as he is keen on carving out a following in parts where most DJs don’t dare to tread, especially when it comes to his current Holy Grail of conquering American. “Very few British DJs try to crossover,” he muses. “I’m told that 80% of Americans don’t own passports, so I think that’s part of it. It is very hard to find out what is going on in the rest of world in America. It’s a large continent. The good spots are Los Angeles or Boston or wherever there is a load of Irish. I have a special relationship with the Irish. My wife is half-Irish. The good half! The other half is Italian which tells me off all the time! I think the people really live life there and they’re very warm and receptive. That’s what they’re like in Boston also. I’m sorry I don’t go to Ireland as much as I’d like to.”

Oakie won’t be round our way for Creamfields in Punchestown, but he promises something special in Cork in the very near future.

Meanwhile, local hero DJ Loutka is receiving the homecoming treatment on the main stage. The reception given to the homegrown acts, most of which I’ve never, ever heard of before, begs the question whether you really need to book many international acts for this party to go off. Mind you, it’s getting late and I’m not that sure about all that stuff about the crowd being so composed earlier, as by now there are plenty of casualties staggering around the site looking for something to eat, a bus home and their sanity. However, it must be said that the beautifully tanned and toned Eastern European women still look stunning, rubbing shoulders with dishevelled Scousers, who no doubt probably attend every single event in the world that Liverpool’s best known club brand is involved in.

It has been a long, strange and very entertaining night. Even though its has become such a well-worn cliché, it is hard to witness such a diverse range of accents, languages and party customs coming together in a huge airfield in this beautiful rural area of the Czech Republic and not feel that dance culture is still a hugely positive, inspiring and unifying force after all these long hard years of all nighters and ever-increasing commercialisation. Maybe for all that EU guff and Nice Referendum claptrap, European unity isn’t anywhere as complicated as we think. Punchestown rave on!