Catch That Millennium Bug

No, you don t have to have the latest computerised technology to catch this Millennium bug. Instead, all you need is the ruthless determination to finally fulfil your wildest fantasies, those dreams and wishes you ve been too pre-occupied to get around to at any time during the past one thousand years.
But fret not, for there s over three hundred days left in which you can plan and prepare for the experience of your lifetime. Let s face it, this could be the last time any of us have a legitimate excuse to do something a little crazy. And there are absolutely no restrictions, except those limits created by your imagination.
So here are some decidedly do-able, must-do and desirable Millennium Adventures to put at the top of your list for the rest of the year.

Skellig Aquatics is run by Traolach Peter Sweeney in the delightful village of Caherdaniel, not far from Waterville in County Kerry. They offer an extensive range of invigorating outdoor activities, from Scuba Diving, Angling and Survival Courses to Hill Walking, Rock Climbing, Abseiling, Camp Craft, Land Navigation and Orienteering. Many of these activities are perfect for the Millennium adventurer, and are appropriate for children as young as five, as well as grown-ups.
Now in operation for over a decade, the Skellig Aquatics centre is perfectly situated at the bottom of the daunting Macgillicuddy Reeks, yet only a hundred yards from the shoreline and the attractive unpolluted strands close by Derrynane Harbour which offer fine facilities for water sports enthusiasts.
For a special Millennium price of #265 you can embark on a course of diving instruction which will give you the qualifications to dive virtually anywhere on earth, and Skellig Aquatics can offer you accommodation for as little as #6.50 per person per night.
A sample adventure course at Caherdaniel could have you taking a course in navigation on the first day, rock climbing on the second day, abseiling and camping on a deserted island on day three, snorkelling on the day after, mountain camping on day five and navigation exercises on a mountain on the sixth day before you return to base for welcome quaffs of your favourite tipple. The aforementioned programme includes breakfasts, lunches, dinners and all your equipment requirements, all your accommodation and instruction, and all for an unbeatable Millennium price of #234.
Paragliding is an exciting adventure sport that enables you to fly for miles using thermals (rising air, not underwear!). All the equipment you require is easily transportable and can fit into a rucksack, so to all intents and purposes you can carry your air transport in a bag. Yet the latest hot ships are able to fly up to 200 miles.
The sport began in the last decade with people hopping in the air using parachutes. This required high winds and steep slopes, and they could only stay airborne for a few minutes whereas today they can stay up for hours.
Eireventure Paragliding School in Bantry, Co. Cork offers qualified instruction to interested parties. You can begin with a Fun Day for #75, or take the four day Student Pilot Course for #250 which earns you a qualification. After that you can move on to Junior Pilot or Pilot courses.
According to Mike Tannem from Eireventure, a new paraglider will cost you between #2,000 and #3,000, although it is possible to qualify to fly unsupervised with a second-hand paraglider which you could pick up for about #1,000.
Paragliding is probably the easiest way to fly. But it is crucial that you learn safely with experienced, qualified instructors so a call to Mike at 027-51567 will get you off the ground, literally.
One of the least expensive and simplest ways to see a country from the inside is on a Cycling Holiday. So if you ve been harbouring secret desires to have an intimate look at, say, Italy, why not make that your millennium treat for yourself and some friends?
The advantage of a cycling holiday is that it is unhurried and yet active, working off up to 400 calories every hour. In fact, a lack of fitness will probably be an advantage as it will slow your pace down and give you more time to soak up the atmosphere, scenery, wildlife and culture of the country you visit. Nor will you be tied to train or bus timetables, and you won t have to battle with the holiday hordes on the roads.
It is also a very flexible holiday and you don t even have to own a bike! You can opt to stay at a base from which you hire your bike, cycle wherever you want and return to base for the overnight. Or you can hire a mountain bike and tackle more demanding trips on tougher terrain and get as far off the beaten track as your fitness allows. There are also holidays where you can work out an itinerary and book each overnight as far apart as your fitness and other factors allow. It ll be just like the Tour de France without the drugs.
For the increasing number of people who are concerned about the protection of the environment cycling is arguably the most environmentally friendly means of ground transport ever invented. So, let on your bike for the millennium be you motto!
Design your own gift for the Millennium? Sounds like an impossible task? Not any more, thanks to those people trading under the clever name Hey Doodle Doodle. Buying a present at any time can be trying, especially if the donee is a regular recipient of your largesse and when the shelves seem to be stacked exclusively with stuff they either don t like or have already. But with the advent of Hey Doodle Doodle in Eyre Square in Galway and Temple Bar, Dublin you can celebrate the Millennium by asking them to apply your own personal designs and suggestions to dinnerware, pottery etc., so that each gift you distribute will not only be unique in itself but will carry the stamp of your own personality and perhaps even some element that has a special meaning for the recipient.
Any personalised gift from Hey Doodle Doodle will mean much more than something off a multi-million production line or a gift that looks as if it was purchased in haste at the last minute with little or no forethought. But apart from gifts for loved ones you can of course choose to treat yourself and bring out the artist in you by having one of Hey Doodle Doodle s extensive range shaped and painted exactly as you wish. There s no finer way to personalise your own house, flat or room.
As Irish people look for activities that they can use as a base for a holiday or a short trip overseas, Snowboarding, essentially skateboarding on snow instead of on a road or pavement, seems to be winning the battle for those who think that skiing is kind of old hat. The fact that marijuana and snowboarding seem to be as synonymous as Heineken and rugby may have something to do with it. So why not treat yourself to this adventurous new hobby for the millennium? (You mean snowboarding, don t you? ED).
There are companies in the UK offering snowboarding weekends in France for little more than #100, and if you like dressing up you ll get a serious kick from kitting yourself out in all those knee-pads and elbow-protectors they provide for you. Experienced snowboarders have even been known to stuff newspapers and bubble-wrap down their trousers for added protection!
But you have to be in reasonable physical condition and your reserves of stamina will be put to the test. Nor is it as easy as it looks. Even the most experienced skiers have ended up arse over tit despite several lessons, so this will really test your mettle and your determination. But then that s what they invented millenniums for.
Fancy winning a Formula One Grand Prix for the Millennium? Thanks in part to the interest generated by Eddie Jordan s Formula One racing team and the excellent coverage given to the Grand Prix season by Network 2, motor racing has become more popular in Ireland than ever before. Unfortunately, only government ministers, EU commissioners, offshore account holders, planning officials and a few other lucky sods can now afford the few million it takes to design and own an F1 car.
But with a little imagination, you too can become Michael Schumacher or Mario Andretti, if only for a few hours. All you need to do is pop along to the motor racing facility at Mondello Park in County Kildare and your wildest dreams will be fulfilled.
Mondello Park is one of the premium racing centres in this country and they offer a wide range of activities for the four-wheeled enthusiast, including full-tours, racing sessions, spectator events and personal instruction. So you can have the chance to drive a real racing car on a prestigious track like Mondello, just like the pros and under the watchful eye of a fully-qualified instructor at the most reasonable prices.
This is an adrenaline rush too good to be missed by any daring Millennium adventurer! For the slightly more faint-hearted, Mondello Park has a vast selection of exhilarating spectator events, including a busy schedule of programme races, and an exciting training schedule, all too numerous to detail here. So why not slip into Millennium gear and give them a call on 045-860200, ask for their brochure and move into the fast lane pronto!
Okay, so every time you go to a wedding or a party you always end up being pressurised (although it doesn t take too much of that!) to give the assembled throng a couple of songs. Afterwards everybody tells you how great you are and you know you re as good as most of that stuff you see on MTV. So isn t it time for you to go for it and finally make that record you keep dreaming about before you find yourself in the next millennium?
Of course you ll need to do it properly, so a call to Trend Studios will set you on the right road. They ll tell you exactly what you need to do to produce a master-recording to professional standards and they ll help you with the cover design details as well. When you come back to them with those basic parts they ll look after all the CD mastering and manufacturing as well, so that one day very soon you ll be able to walk down the street clutching a batch of your very own records.
A copy of the Hot Press Yearbook will give you full details of recording studios in your area, distribution companies who can get your record into the shops, and you ll find sections on PR, publicity and the media to help you get your record played and noticed by those who matter.
And who knows, you might be in with a shot of being Ireland s first new discovery of the 21st century, and all that s stopping you going for it is that overused long finger. So get it out!
Compared to other tribes and nations, we Irish are not much given to decorating our bodies. Check through a copy of National Geographic magazine and you will marvel at the lengths some people go to express their culture by painting their skin and applying other objects to their bodies, including large rings inserted in ears and navels, and bones and steel skewers through noses.
In Ireland though, as we hurtle towards the Millennium, we seem to be making giant strides to catch up as body-piercing becomes de rigeuer. People are no longer shocked to see a man with a modest earring or a woman with a ring through her navel. Even our own Stuart Clark has earned a degree of notoriety on both sides of the Irish Sea by having a sizeable ring embedded in his sizeable nether parts! Much of this is thanks to such imaginative and professional experts as Body Shock in Dublin s Temple Bar area.
But such developments bring with it serious dangers, since the demand for body-piercing has brought with it a plethora of charlatans whose careless practices can actually damage your health and cause long-term, perhaps irreparable, harm to your body.
So it is crucial that you go to professional and experienced practitioners such as Body Shock who can take the necessary care with your body-piercing requirements so that your body will be enhanced rather than permanently damaged or scarred.

This writer can think of no better way of celebrating the supposed millennium anniversary of the birth of Christianity than by taking a closer look at one of the fastest growing religions, Buddhism. In contrast to Christianity, which encourages its appropriately-named flock towards blind obedience of the hierarchy, Gautama Buddha advised his followers to believe nothing until they had tested it with their own reason and intellect. That could be the perfect philosophy for the next century.
He was born Siddharta Buddha in 563 BC in India. He taught a way of understanding through self-mastery and self-knowledge. He believed that suffering was a basic element in human life and that it was caused by our desires, greed and ego. To conquer this situation he devised his eightfold path of right belief, right thought, right speaking, right conduct, right livelihood, right effort, right meditation and right concentration.
There s a Buddhist Centre in Dublin (check the phone book for current contact number) which will give you further details, and since Buddhism teaches reincarnation, you might even be better prepared for the next millennium.
And finally . . .
If the above suggestions aren t quite crazy enough for you, do not despair, for there s no limit to Millennium Madness. Now might be the perfect time to teach your pet budgerigar to fly underwater or to turn your goldfish onto the delights of synchronised swimming.
If sport is your thing, you could apply for the post of England football manager, offer to be Kevin Keegan s faith healer, or you could put your name down now as a competitor for the next Olympic Games.
Maybe it s time you finally got down to composing that eight-hour autobiographical opera, or you could form a rock band and spend the remainder of the century in Temple Bar drinking coffee until that much sought after record deal comes along!
The more adventurous of you could follow your gambling instincts and buy 2,000 lottery tickets and distribute them to your mates, while the less energetic could go in for a spot of mountain-biking. In Holland.
But one word of warning for those of you planning to ring in the new Millennium in the capital on New Year s Eve. It might be a very good idea to start queueing for a cab straight away. There is even talk of Bus Eireann laying on special buses for the occasion to take people to the back of the queue.
But however you choose to celebrate the Millennium, remember that nobody else will do it for you and you won t get a second chance. Unless you re a Buddhist.