VIDEONAZI

Worried that you're not up to speed with the latest sexual slang? Fear not, because the filth-mongers at www.subgenius.com have put together a glossary of terms that will delight even the perviest of punters. We'll leave it to them to give you the definitions, suffice to say that your friends will be dead impressed as you refer to Flying Camels, Donkey Punches, Purple Mushrooms and that lewdest of Latinos, Dirty Sanchez.

None of them are as offensive though as Heil Honey I'm Home, the 1999 BSkyB sitcom which featured Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun as a suburban couple, living next door to a Jewish family called the Goldsteins.

"The atmosphere is more 1961 Hollywood than it is 1931 Berlin," claimed the press blurb at the time. "The story is really about the conflict between the neighbours. Hitler is always outwitted. The only people this series will offend are neo-Nazis."

Needless to say they were wrong - Heil Honey was pulled after just one of its eight episodes. You can get the full S.P. at www.tvchronicles.com and

www.tandemfilms.com/gallery.htm

There are more televisual disasters to be perused at www.tvparty.com, a couch potato's wet dream which has an excellent 'Biggest Flops Of All Time!' section. There's some stiff competition, but our favourite is this prime time NBC sitcom from 1965: "My Mother The Car followed the antics of lawyer Dave Crabtree (Jerry "brother of Dick" Van Dyke), a typically hapless family man who discovers that his mother has returned from the grave as a 1928 Porter convertible automobile. It just so happens that he was looking around the used car lot for a family station wagon when he made this startling discovery. He (naturally) buys the car against the wishes of his family, who (naturally) think he's gone crazy."

There's more supreme bad taste to be had at www.airdisaster.com, an encyclopaedic guide to the finest plane crashes worldwide. You know how some dragon of a stewardess always tells you to switch your Nokia off? Well, they're not doing it to be gratuitously unpleasant.

"Swiss aviation investigators said yesterday that a mobile phone may have caused a Saab 340 to crash shortly after take-off from Zurich airport a year ago, killing all 10 passengers and crew on board," reveals their latest report. "Last week, a Slovenian airliner made an emergency landing in Ljubljana after a mobile caused the electronics system to malfunction and falsely indicate an onboard fire."

There are also photos of a recently downed Cameroon Airlines Boeing 747, and for nostalgia fans, the Skywest Airlines Fairchild 226TC Metroliner that plummeted to earth in 1987 with 14 fatalities.

Which just leaves us with time to tell you about the free www.atari.org games archive, and the ace Kraftwerk skateboards (below) that can be ordered from www.klingklang.com