The Unkindest Cut

With piercing now so mainstream that you're waiting for Daniel O'Donnell to admit that he's got a Prince Albert done, it's only to be expected that body modification is becoming more and more extreme.

You may remember us reporting last year that one of Jim Rose's former Sideshow stars, The Enigma, had had Teflon horns surgically implanted under the skin of his head. Well, the man who once said, "Why go half way? Why be normal? I want to be a real freak!", is now planning to have them fused to his skull, and the skin cut away so you can see the little devils gleam!

Tame stuff compared to the fella from Ohio who's just undergone a technique which in Modern Primitive parlance is known as "splitcock".

A BA in Economic Geography, the 41-year-old explains that, "I had been secretly fascinated with the idea of splitting my penis ever since reading about the circumcision rite of certain Australian Aboriginal peoples when I was in my teens."

Not wanting to waste money on silly old surgeons, our geographically-inclined chum researched and carried out the procedure himself.

"I've never used anaesthetics," he continues. "I'm not into pain, as such, but I want to feel the cutting. It is, for me, a sort of manhood rite, which can be had only through enduring the pain. And I want to feel my body as I perform this rite. That is not to say I do not try to find less painful methods for doing the cutting. But anaesthetics seem clinical and artificial."

While Hot Press is far too much of a family publication to go into specifics, there's a scalpel-by-scalpel guide to how it's done in this month's Body Modification E-Zine.

A huge and extremely well-maintained resource, it also carries an interview with King of the New York Bodypiercers, Keith Alexander.

In it, he reveals that, "A large percentage of my clientele are in the law enforcement field. Contrary to popular belief, police are people to. They share the same innate desire for body adornment. Many, many cops are tattooed and pierced. So are doctors and nurses, lawyers and judges. I've even done a priest."

Another Alexander speciality is branding which, again, he's performed on, "everyone from lawyers to punks. Each one heals differently and takes on a different colour, according to things like the amount of melanin in your skin and diet. A lot of college kids want fraternity emblems, mostly Greek letters. I've also done sunbursts and initials. Any straight line design is best and everyone is different."

Elsewhere in BME you can read about tongue-forking - cutting tongues in two a la snakes and lizards - fingernail modification, voluntary amputations, lip sewing, hook-pulling and other things that make you go 'ouch!'

As they always say on Blue Peter, don't try it at home unless there's an adult present. Preferably one who's spent seven years at medical college and has a first-aid kit handy. n

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