Suits ewe, sir

Footie fans who want to ensure that they’re fully prepared for the World Cup finals should check out the ‘How To…’ guide to Japanese toilets which can be found – trousers down and squatting – at www.asahi-net.or.jp/~ADBY-HYS/movie.htm

“Don’t touch any buttons,” they warn. “If you do you may find an unpleasant surprise coming up from the depths. The toilets are hi-tech. They have seat warmers, bottom washers and a number of other things that are scary for the first time gaijin to be messing with!”

If it’s good old-fashioned sporting nastiness you’re after, look no further than broadstreetbully.com, which has over 300 streamed clips of pro ice hockey players beating the crap out of each other. Our favourite is the New Yorker Ranger who slams his Dallas Star counterpart against the perimeter wall so hard, the plexiglass shatters.

A less violent way to release that pent up testosterone is to buy one of the anatomically correct inflatable sheep that can be found at www.muttbone.com

How much to “love ewe you long time”? A mere $24.95 (plus shipping and handling).

Which brings us to legoporn.com, a Pandora’s Box of mould-injected plastic perviness which, not surprisingly, hasn’t gone down (err, perhaps we should rephrase that) at all well with the manufacturers.

We expected The Mighty Organ to yield more filth but, nope, it turns out to be “an eclectic collection of journalistic observations, interests and private passions.” While some of the writing is a bit too Hunter S. Thompson wannabe for its own good, there are a couple of excellent columns including Damien Enright’s weekly dispatch from the People’s Republic, A Cork In It.

Our last cyberport of call is phobialist.com, which, strangely enough, is a bloody great long list of phobias. The more curious and/or funny ones include Euphobia (fear of hearing good news), Phonophobia (fear of one’s own voice) Metrophobia (fear of poetry) and Zemmiphobia (fear of the great mole rat).