THERE WAS no sign of the Guinness Book people on the way in, but I'm sure The Clarence is trying to set a record for 'Most Celebrities Crammed Into A Hotel'. Since my arrival five minutes ago, I've spotted Paul Scholes and David Seaman in the lounge, three-quarters of Belle & Sebastian in the bar and a newly hair-extensioned Zok Ball disappearing into the lift. While the winsome Scottish popsters are here under their own recognisance, the others are waiting on the bloke who later tonight will become the first DJ to headline The Point.

Somebody put £6,000 on Nostradamus being right about the world ending on July 4th 1999 at 66,000/1. You'd probably have got similar odds ten years ago if you'd backed the balding one in the Housemartins to become a multi-millionaire dance superstar.

There's no other description for a man whose spent 39 consecutive weeks in the UK top 30, has Hollywood directors queuing up to use his songs in their movies, and declines £15,000 a go offers to remix such industry giants as U2, Madonna and, er, Laurel & Hardy.