Size Isn't Everything

THE BEE GEES: "Size Isn't Everything" (Polydor)

THEY'RE BACK - again. The three medallion men who started off as cute and toothsome youths and ended up as the hirsute triumvirate who invented commercial disco are back with album whose title is sooo ironic given The Bee Gee's collective ego. In music terms, size might indeed not be everything, but if the quality quotient isn't there either then we have what is known in this neck of the woods as a crap record.

However - and it's a small but important however; size isn't everything, remember - underlying the general feeling of ennui that pervades this collection is a smattering of classic Bee Gees' touches. Most of the harmonies are clutter-free ('Blue Island' and 'Paying The Price Of Love' in particular drift around the head like swirling clouds of ionic particles), while some of the melodies are catchy-as-hell. That said, there's such a sense of formulae about them that it undermines their enjoyment.

The other major criticism is the occasional yelp of a vocal from Robin Gibb - a most disconcerting mannerism that you either willingly accept or run a mile away for. I bought a pair of Nike trainers by the third song . . .

Size Isn't Everything sees The Bee Gees plodding along and just about staying alive, ploughing the same tired musical furrow as if their drink and drug problems never happened. And guess what? The album's a hit.

Funny old world, isn't it?

• Tony Clayton-Lea