Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun

It’s Halloween night, and as you can probably imagine, the Aguilera faithful scarcely needed to be asked twice to pull out all the stops on the sartorial front. Whilst the mean-spirited commentator might witheringly opine that a Christina Aguilera gig is likely to inspire a cavalcade of grisly fashion disasters no matter what time of year it takes place, in many respects a giant 21st century fancy ball is an appropriately surreal environment for the queen of multi-media hype to strut her stuff.
Opening with a predictably stunning video-screen blitzkrieg – shots of a leather-clad Aguilera bound to a chair, interspersed with flash-cards screaming “PAPARAZZI”, “TABLOID”, “SCANDAL” – the show roars into life with the surprisingly funky ‘Dirty’, the performance of which is rendered all the more impressive by the flawless choreography and stage-props (a multi-tiered, faux-industrial steel frameworks crawling with dancers).
For the next 20 minutes or so, during which the singer prowls the stage with such confidence and style you begin to suspect her superstar status might, y’know, actually be merited, you can almost begin to understand why some of her younger fans have been waiting patiently outside for close to twelve hours.
However, when Aguilera and her band opt to slow the pace for a prolonged ballad-o-rama, the show ceases to be a funky pop revue and instead slides into standard-issue M.O.R. arena fare. Additionally, the singer’s awkward attempts at between-song badinage – a truly mawkish speech about the need for her fans to ‘follow their hearts’, not to mention leading the crowd through a rendition of that hoary old chestnut, ‘Olé Olé’ – only serve to highlight, rather than disguise, the ultra clinical nature of this production.
Still, having regrouped for thumping renditions of ‘Lady Marmalade’ and ‘What A Girl Wants’, Aguilera at least delivered a tour-de-force dénouement.
As battle-hardened Hollywood producer Robert Evans sagely observed in The Kid Stays In The Picture earlier this year, “There are three sides to every story; yours, mine and the truth.” Judging by the many beaming smiles in evidence on the way out of the venue this evening, the kids know exactly which side of the fence they stand on in this particular argument.