Flat Eric

Blame it on springtime and the rising sap: Eric Benet is a silver-tongued handsome devil with tupping on his mind, slinky r 'n' b chops at his disposal and the flutteringest boudoir eyes since Prince. We're talking prime pimp-muzak here, an asinine lovers' rock located not in the hump 'n' pump of Jamaica, but some non-rent-controlled Manhattan apartment where the mirrors are on the ceiling and the champagne's on ice.

For sure, Eric wastes no time in getting down to the real nitty gritty on A Day In The Life - barely halfway into 'That's Just My Way', he's doing the Buffalo Of Luurve like suffrage was a misconceived and mercifully short-lived idea that died out back in the 1890s. "Baby your river is flowing," he warbles in his silkiest tones, "So let me just fill you up 'til you overflow/Just feel me all over your body/I promise you'll thank me/If you do just what you're told/'Cause you'll be whimpering gently." Having seemingly avoided a swift kick in the balls from the object of his attentions, Benet then suggests she "hike up that skirt and show me just where I belong" over a backing track as slick as a coolie's midriff. Careful what you wish for, Eric baby: ever hear the one about the guy who was reincarnated as a tampon?

The rest of the record preoccupies itself with similar themes and tempos. Benet is a supple vocalist, capable of evoking masters like the aforementioned Paisley Parker, not to mention Stevie Wonder, and if you're a fan of MTV's The Lick, you might like this collection of sleepy velcro-soul grooves. Certainly tunes like 'Lamentation', 'Loving Your Best Friend' (co-written with Wyclef Jean) and 'Georgy Porgy' (a duet with Faith Evans, one of four high profile collaborations here) are perfect soundtracks to love on the American Express, all pampered by string sections with waxed bikini lines and rhythms custom-built for a long, slow comfortable screw up against a wall.

A Day In The Life might've been a worthy successor to Grace's Warm Leatherette, Marvin's 'Sexual Healing' or Lauryn's Miseducation if the tunes weren't so soft-focused, the arrangements so airbrushed, the beats so boneless. It's flawlessly executed, but also the musical equivalent of an unwanted tongue in your ear, a cold hand down your drawers. Avoid, unless you're into that kinda thing.