Cowboy Hunters: "People are pissed off in the wrong direction. That’s where [flag shagging] comes from"

Trying to get a straight answer out of Cowboy Hunters is like trying to do keepy-uppies with a watermelon. To be fair to Megan Pollock and Desmond Johnston, they don’t break kayfabe, even when nursing a hangover from the night before.

The Glasgow-based pair met at uni in Edinburgh. After the guitarist from their previous doom-rock band left, it was time to start, well… hunting cowboys.

“It’s what they do to society. Someone’s got to stop them,” says Des. “Like Beyoncé – she can’t keep getting away with this…”

Des and Megan share vocal duties and take turns playing drums and bass guitar. The result is raw, recession-era punk: loud and angry, but also funny and nihilistic. Songs on their new EP, EPeepee, include ‘Cuntry Girl’, ‘Have A Pint’, ‘Money For Drugs’, and ‘Shag Slags, Not Flags’.

“It’s about your mum,” says Megan of the last one.

See what I mean?

The music stands as a wry reaction to the state of the UK, somewhere alongside the likes of Bob Vylan and Sleaford Mods, both of whom Cowboy Hunters have opened for over the last few months.

Despite the duo insisting they never wanted to be what they call a “TikTok band”, they credit their recent momentum to social media, where they’ve mastered the art of poking fun at fragile masculinity.

“It’s rage-baiting men on the internet,” Des explains. “For every hate comment you get, you get 10 followers. You’re using them like fucking batteries. The line on ‘Mating Call’ saying that ‘you’ve got a tiny wee cock’ is speaking about nobody in particular. But you get men being like: ‘Oh, I guess body shaming is ok now?’ They’re all telling on themselves in the comments.”

They’ve recently expanded to OnlyFans, where they’ll post exclusive ‘safe-for-work’ content and behind-the-scenes band material.

“We’re hoping that people that are in the comments saying Megan should leave the band and start an OnlyFans will get tricked into subscribing to it,” Des remarks.

Their flippant attitude is refreshing in a world where everyone is serious all the time.

“Someone who’s a moany bastard doesn’t get listened to, but someone who’s funny will,” Des says.

Megan agrees.

“I think that’s quite a British thing, to be honest,” she says. “No one wants to hear someone moan. It’s also just more fun to have a laugh while you’re doing it. You don’t want to go to gigs and hate the songs you’re playing.”

“There’s a certain type of punk song where you list a bunch of things that are wrong and put them in a verse to fast guitar music. What’s the point in that?” Des continues. “Everything you’re saying is very obvious. That can be helpful, but we’re trying to cheer people up at the same time as making them aware.”

Beneath the pisstaking, the tunes do speak to something more serious. I try to ask about the flags again, and whether or not the band are worried about Nigel Farage and Reform breaking past Hadrian’s Wall.

“There are little dickheads everywhere,” says Des. “They are trying to get people who are easily manipulated. I think it seems worse in England because there’s a bigger population. There are so many flags in England that it fucking creeps me out. When you’re driving down the motorway, as soon as you leave Scotland, there is a period where every bridge has English flags. It was fucking horrible.

“No one’s got any fucking money and no one’s got any hope for the future, so they need someone to blame. These people keep them pissed off about something so they don’t look at the actual problem. If you’re pissed off, you’re malleable. Your opinions can be swayed quite a lot if you’re angry. But people are pissed off in the wrong direction. That’s where [flag shagging] comes from. Nobody’s got any fucking money.”

• EPeepee is out now.