Madison Cawley - Mad Hatter Q&A: Your Concept of Hell? "Any sort of straight male podcast"

Who would be the last person you would invite to your birthday party?
Katie Hopkins.

Who would be the first person you would invite to your birthday party?
Meg Stalter.

Favourite saying?
What a load of bollox.

Favourite record?
Anything Justin Bieber.

Favourite book?
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.

Favourite film?
Call Me By Your Name.

Favourite author?
Paula Guildea (my mam).

Favourite actor / actress?
Cate Blanchett and Teddy Moore.

Favourite musician?
Nell Mescal.

Most embarrassing moment of your life?
I don’t really get embarrassed, but there was once I was trying to impress this girl, and I dropped a drink all over myself on Grafton Street. So that was quite scarlet.

Favourite food/drink/stimulant?
Seafood, any fizzy drink and a vape.

TV programme?
Orange Is The New Black.

Favourite TV personality?
Hannah Horvath in Girls.

Favourite item of clothing?
A spritz of Lynx Africa on the hole and I’m ready to roll.

Most desirable date?
To be on a yacht with an aperol, a cigarette, some olives, and my sexy girlfriend.

Favourite method of relaxation?

Doomscrolling on TikTok. 

If you weren’t pursuing your present career, what other career might you have chosen?
A psych nurse.

Biggest thrill?
When your crush likes your Insta story.

Biggest disappointment?
Probably seeing a pack of treats in the press and realising someone just left the wrapper and the treat is gone.

Your concept of heaven?
Being in the presence of The L Word cast.

Your concept of hell?

Any sort of straight male podcast.

What would be your dying words?
If it’s meant to be, then it will be.

Greatest ambition?
A Calvin Klein billboard in NYC but I’m wearing the boxers.

Period of history you’d most like to have lived in and why?
Definitely now. I’m a woman and I like my rights.

If you weren’t a human being, which animal would you have chosen to be?
A dolphin.

If you were told that the world was ending tomorrow morning, how would you react/what would you do?
Make out with my girlfriend and go on a rollercoaster.

Your nominee for the world’s best-dressed person?
Jojo Siwa.

Favourite term of abuse?
This is a vile question.

Biggest fear?
Sharks.

Humanity’s most useful invention?
A vibrator.

Humanity’s most useless invention?
AI.

• Madison Cawley’s Irish tour of The Maddie Show kicks off in The Everyman Theatre, Cork on October 18.