Connla Stokes - Mad Hatter Q&A: Biggest fear? "Being stuck in a karaoke bar for a night"

Who would be the last person you would invite to your birthday party?
That absolute gobshite of an American president.

Who would be the first person you would invite to your birthday party?
Anyone who doesn’t want to sing karaoke is welcome.

Favourite saying?
Duke Ellington: ‘I Don’t Need Time, I Need A Deadline.’

Favourite record?
Can’t choose. Okay fine. Astral Weeks.

Favourite book?
The Quiet American by Graham Greene. He tried his best to call out the imperial arrogance that would ravage Vietnam…

Favourite film?
Withnail & I – although it gets sadder every time I watch it.

Favourite author?
For his short stories, Raymond Carver.

Favourite musician?
Right now, Sly Stone and Brian Wilson.

Most embarrassing moment of your life?
Crashing headlong into a paddy field on a motorbike trip through Vietnam’s Central Highlands. Made quite a splash with the locals (ba dum tish). 

Favourite food/drink/stimulant?
A bowl of pho, coconut juice, a palpitation-inducing Vietnamese coffee.

TV programme?
The very underrated (and totally ridiculous) Toast Of London.

Favourite TV personality?
After 25-plus years in Vietnam, I’m out of touch – are Vic & Bob still going?

Favourite item of clothing?
My ‘James Connolly t-shirt’, purchased at Connolly Books of Dublin, nearly 20 years ago but seemingly indestructible.

Favourite method of relaxation?
Cycling in the back alleys of Saigon (one of the most motorised cities in the world).

If you weren’t pursuing your present career, what other career might you have chosen?
I’d be a musician that wished he was a writer (as opposed to the other way around).

Biggest thrill?
Seeing my first book Falling For Saigon in a bookshop.

Biggest disappointment?
The state of the world right now, thanks to Trump, Putin, Netanyahu, et al.

Your concept of heaven?
Hanging out with Luis Borges in a labyrinthine library all day, playing music with Sly Stone all night.

Your concept of hell?
A place with no books or musical instruments.

Greatest ambition?
To play the dan tranh – a 16-string Vietnamese zither.

Period of history you’d most like to have lived in and why?
Rome circa 60 BCE – the perfect storm of political backstabbing, philosophical grandstanding, and wine-fuelled toga parties…

If you were told that the world was ending tomorrow morning, how would you react/what would you do?
Head out and get involved in an impromptu sing-song, which, thankfully, is the easiest thing to do in Saigon.

Your nominee for the world’s best-dressed person?
Baxter Dury.

Baxter Dury. Credit: Tom Beard

Favourite term of abuse?
Dunderhead.

Biggest fear?
Being stuck in a karaoke bar for a night.

Humanity’s most useful invention?
The bicycle. As David Byrne put it: “On a bike, one gets a perfect view of the goings-on in one’s own town.”

Humanity’s most useless invention?
The virtual Zippo lighter app.

• Falling For Saigon by Connla Stokes, published by Brixton Ink, is out now