S&M

"Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it/Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me." Pretty hot stuff, right? Well, no actually. Not when the two women singing these titillating words sound, well... dead. Yup, two of the sexiest women on the planet (ah, now, Britney's looked worse, in fairness) talking about having lots of filthy sex, possibly even with each other, and it's no more scintillating than a Mary Byrne gospel album. Pop stars, hear me out. Stop sounding dead. Purchase Teddy Pendergrass' Teddy! Live in '79 DVD or some other piece of what shall henceforth be known as "living music", and see if you can't defibrillate your vocal.