Return Of The Clown Prince

Robert Peter Williams has been working out. He may once have been thin as a whippet, a bundle of nervous energy without a hint of meat on his bones, but when the 38-year-old singer steps forward to shake my hand in a private corner of the RTÉ TV centre in Dublin, I can’t help but feel just a little bit intimidated. He’s packing enough muscle to make me seem
positively scrawny.

That’s what happens when you replace a 60-a-day cigarette habit with a diet of chocolate, crisps and a regular spot of weightlifting. You fill out. Your arms get bigger. There are muscles where you never even dreamed you had muscles before.
Robbie Williams, the 2012 model, is built like a rugby player. Albeit one with a better class of singing voice...
“Giving up the cigarettes wasn’t hard at all,” he elucidates, as we grab a pew for the interview. “It was kind of miraculous. I just knocked them on the head after smoking three packs a day since I was 16. I then went to sugar and chocolate, put on a lot of weight, hit the gym – and now I can’t get anything to fit me at all! So I’ve stopped doing the weights (laughs).”
I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, Robbie.
“I’m gonna attack the sugar compulsion after Christmas,” he nods, “because I think it’s futile to do it now. It’s not the prime moment to stave off the sugar…”
He’s got a point. Apart entirely from the fact that Christmas is on the way, Robbie has just hit the comeback trail. As a result, there’ll be an element of living out of suitcases and eating food on the move for the foreseeable future. It’s all part of the grand plan. After all, the word has been out for quite some time that Robbie Williams was working on a new album – the follow-up to 2009’s under-performing Reality Killed The
Video Star.
That first attempt at a proper comeback, following the fraught Rudebox era, was on EMI. But that long-standing business relationship is now over. The momentum towards a change of recording allegiance began in earnest with the reinvention of Take That. The band – with Williams finally back on board – released the superb Progress in 2010 via Universal. And what a successful alliance that turned out to be. The record went eight times platinum in the UK, shifting over 2.4 million copies. It was a No. 1 also in Ireland, where it went six times platinum, as well as Denmark, Germany and Greece and topped the pan-European charts – selling over two million copies across the continent. The newly-reformed five-piece duly headed out on a visually stunning stadium tour with a critically-acclaimed, multi-million-selling record under their belts. Every show was a sell-out, with total ticket sales of 1.8 million generating over $185 million in revenue. Not a bad little earner.
But it was never going to be enough for Williams to be a fifth part of the fastest-selling album of the 21st century. Robbie wanted more. And he wanted it now. A solo deal with Universal became almost inevitable…
For over 15 years, the boy from Stoke-on-Trent has been accustomed to his status as one of the world’s biggest male pop artists. At times the ride has been a bumpy one. And, true, he has never hit the heights in the US to which he aspired. But, that quibble notwithstanding, from the outside looking in, Robbie Williams appeared to have it all. He had the money – in 2002 Williams signed a contract with EMI worth a reported £80 million; he had the hit singles – from his cover of ‘Freedom’ in 1996 through ‘Angels’, ‘Let Me Entertain You’, ‘Rock DJ’, ‘Feel’ and more, he always seemed to be able to strike the motherlode; and, of course, he had the fame.
He had also become a permanent fixture in the tabloids. Yep, Robbie was the archetypal troubled pop star that reporters just loved to write about, whether it involved growing a bushy beard and popping in and out of rehab, or chasing aliens in the Nevada desert (true story, mind).
It’s no secret that he’s had his share of problems along the way. As far back as 1995, following his acrimonious departure from Take That, a then 21-year-old Williams headed out for the night… and, apparently, forgot to come home. A year later, he returned from the longest session of his life. He was, as he would later admit, well and truly fucked.
So, he got his act together (for the time being at least), learned how to be a solo artist, and began his personal campaign for world domination. The rest is history: a wonderfully see-saw affair in which he has scaled the heights most of the time – but also plumbed the depths.
Well, the good news is that, in 2012, Robbie Williams is the happiest he’s ever been. Involved since 2006 in a relationship with the actress Ayda Field, the couple had their first child, a daughter Theodora Rose, in September this year. The original cheeky chappy is now a family guy – a husband and a father – with real responsibilities.
The even better news is that he's decided that he wants to be a pop star again. And with Take The Crown – his ninth studio offering – he's made just about as good a pitch as you could hope for. It's easily his finest solo work since 2002’s Escapology.
The Take That reunion? That may have been a tasty and well-timed distraction. Right now, the Jacknife Lee-produced Take The Crown is where it’s really at. That’s right, folks – if Reality Killed The Video Star was the opening gambit and the Take That adventure the second, this is the third act in the epic Robbie Williams Comeback Trilogy.
“I think if that analogy is true, then this is Return Of The Jedi,” he smiles. “And I’m happy with that.”
So is Take The Crown the record he set out to make?
“Am I happy with the record? Yeah, I am,” he nods. “But, you know, I’ve always been kind of mega optimistic. Unfortunately for me, my album becomes however it’s reviewed, which is a bit tragic. Escapology was a massive album which reviewed badly, and that became a bad album in my mind. I think I’d been saying in interviews that all I heard was, ‘You’re shit, you’re shit, you’re shit’, so because of critics and critiques, I sort of derailed myself.”
There is, it seems, a snake of insecurity which bedevils the singer. He craves approval.
“There’s like six or seven songs on Reality Killed The Video Star that I’m really, really proud of,” he adds. “I looked at it yesterday. Unfortunately, there’s no sort of out-and-out hits – but I’m a big fan of my last album. How wanky does that sound?”
He laughs.
“I’m not slagging it off,” he insists. “Just because there were no hits on there, doesn’t mean that it’s not any good – it just means it was something else. But this album? Yeah, I’m really optimistic about it. It’s kind of been made poppy on purpose, and I feel as though it’s got a chance. I feel as though it can fill stadiums and make people happy and do what I’m appointed to do, really, which is be a pop star.”
So far, it’s been working a treat. Take The Crown’s lead single – the Gary Barlow-assisted ‘Candy’ – recently became Robbie’s first UK No. 1 in eight years. Williams is back where he likes to be – king of the hill, top of
the heap...
“I’ve seen so many artists that have been on top,” he explains, “and I’ve seen a lot of artists talk about, ‘Been there, seen it, done it – we don’t want that anymore’, and I think – ‘that’s a fucking lie’, to be honest with you. Because nobody wants to be really successful – and then not be really successful. So, I’ve done the antithesis of that, really. I’ve noticed a few people that haven’t managed to pull it off again have gone, ‘We’re not bothered’. But me? Yeah, I’m really fucking bothered.”
In terms of attitude, he's learned, it seems, from a certain Irish band…
“I’m a big fan of U2,” he continues, “and every time they put an album out they wanna fight to be the biggest band in the world. So, with this album, I wanna be the biggest, best pop star that I can be. And on my day, and on my game, nobody can match me.”
Williams leans in, and speaks directly to the recorder on the table.
“He said, with deference and humility,” he adds. And he grins that cheeky chappie grin.
If it sounds like Robbie Williams is keen to make a statement about himself, that’s probably because he is. The week began with a colourful, well-received appearance on The X-Factor and ended with confirmation that ‘Candy’ has given him his 14th UK No. 1 single, with a whole lot of promotional work from Graham Norton to the Late Late Show sandwiched in between.
No wonder Williams – dressed entirely in black for his Late Late appearance – looks a little tired. A little greyer, even. But that’s what a heavy week on the PR trail does to you. The fact that Robbie is now the father of a beautiful baby girl may also have contributed. That kind of thing can change a man, you know.
“I love being a dad,” he smiles in contradiction. “It’s very comfortable, very stable – things that I fought against in the past. But comfort and stability seem to be the order of the day…”
Speaking of which, on the day we met, there was a report in the papers about a new study, which suggests that men are at their happiest at the age of 37. Something about being on top of your career, starting a family and having a close circle of friends in your life. Robbie Williams is 38 and in many respects seems to fit the bill perfectly.
“I read the same thing,” he replies. “I think there’s some truth to that. I think the twenties for me, and for an awful lot of people, were about figuring the shit out that was fucking forced into us by parents and schooling and dogma. I know for my wife, for me and for a lot of people I know, it was just a wash of bumping into walls and trying to figure out how the fuck you did it.
“The thirties have been more gentle. And I would agree that maybe I’m textbook everything, and that yeah, I’m 38 – I could stay in this week forever. This particular week is an amazing week, and if this was on loop, I’d be quite happy to live in it for the rest of time.”
What would a younger Robbie Williams have to say about the happily married father sitting in front of me? Did he ever actually believe that he might one day settle down and raise a family?
“Yeah, I did,” he answers, “but I thought it was a hundred years away. It’s amazing how quick it comes around. To be honest, I’d made a pact with myself at around 30 that I was never gonna get married and never have kids, and then God has other plans. And I’m a much better person for those plans, you know. It’s a good life.”
It's not a statement he could always have made with such inner calm. Indeed Robbie once joked with Michael Parkinson about his love of clinics. The truth, of course, is that Robbie Williams had barely begun his adult life when he developed a problem with alcohol. And though Take The Crown is about Williams stepping forward and reclaiming a certain title, it’s also about looking back and re-evaluating the events that helped shaped the man he is today.
Be it losing his virginity (‘Gospel’) or rediscovering his magic (‘Be A Boy’), there's a strong autobiographical flavor to the record. On the moody, guitar-driven ‘Hunting For You’, he delivers one of the most honest lyrics of his career. ‘Everything I like is illegal, seductive,’ he confesses, ‘Addictive, immoral, corrosive, destructive/ But I’ve got kind words in my heart…’.
Of course, this is familiar country. Nobody interviews this most fascinating of British entertainers without mentioning the dark days. Today, he's in no mood for self-flagellation.
“Unfortunately, I’ve rose-tinted glasses about how difficult it may or may not have been,” he laughs. “Right now, all I can see is (raises voice) The Party Scenes! The Party Times! When we were fucking everything, shoving things up our noses and our arses and fucking, whatever… That’s all I remember! So every time journalists bring up drugs, I’m like, ‘Yeah, they
were great!’”
Robbie lets out another laugh. He’s becoming increasingly animated. Clearly, he still gets a kick out of talking about the past.
“I’m not distressed when people bring it up,” he adds, good-naturedly. “I’m just sort of a little bit pissed off that I used up my drinking and drugging books, with the tickets in, you know, very quickly – I just got down to the stubs. At 19 or 20, I was already fucked.”
And when he says fucked, he means fucked.
“I wish I’d have got another five or six years out of it,” he rues, “because it wasn’t all doom and gloom and slashing me wrists – it was a lot of fun, too. So, when people bring it up all the time, I’m just reminded of a former me that was out there, tearing the place up. It doesn’t make me want to do drugs or drink again, you know. I haven’t had a drink for 12 years. And I’m not doing any Class As…”
There’s that cheeky grin again. In all that time, though, hasn’t he ever felt the urge to simply go for
a pint?
“I’ve never had the urge to drink in 12 years,” he says, before correcting himself. “Apart from one minute, and it must have been 30 seconds, or 20 seconds, on my 30th birthday in Mexico, where I fancied a cold beer. But it wasn’t like ‘ARGH! I WANT A COLD BEER!’ It was like, ‘Oh, that would be nice… hmmm, no it wouldn’t’. And it was as quick as that – and it was gone. So, in 12 years, I've not had a compulsion to drink, no.”

Let’s talk about Take That. For a while there, Robbie was trailing behind his former bandmates in the popularity stakes. Gary Barlow and the boys even wrote a song about their old friend, entitled ‘Shine’. ‘You, you’re such a big star to me,’ the lads crooned in their best Gilbert O’Sullivan-meets-Queen persona,’You’re everything I wanna be/But you’re stuck in a hole/And I want you to get out.’ How very odd then, that ‘Shine’ topped the charts in 2007, at a time when Robbie was watching his own career implode.
But then, nobody could have predicted that the biggest boy band of the ‘90s would pick up where they left off nearly a decade after their original split –
not least the lad who wasn’t even around for the break-up.
By the end of 2009, Gary Barlow, Mark Owen, Howard Donald and Jason Orange had just completed one of the biggest tours of their career. Robbie, on the other hand, was in desperate need of a proper hit. But that’s not why he re-joined Take That. There was unfinished business between him and Barlow – a long-standing feud that officially came to an end with the release of the duo’s joint single, ‘Shame’. Actually, they had fooled us all. Take That had been secretly plotting their ultimate reunion plans for a couple of years.
So, just how do you go about topping an album and tour cycle as earth–shatteringly powerful and lucrative as Progress? After all, last year’s Croke Park shindig remains one of the finest pop shows this writer has ever witnessed. More to the point: is there a future for Take That: The Five-Piece?
“I don’t know what the story is,” says Robbie. “We’re going to have a meal next week and figure it out. Because I’d like to do both and I’d like to be very successful at doing both, too, and does one eat into the other, or do I eat into it? I don’t know. I’ve got a plan, and it’s a three, four year plan of, you know, being around and doing interviews, being on the TV and releasing records – and then, at the end of that three or four years, I’m off. And I’ll probably be away for a long time. So, fortunately, I’m a lucky bastard and I have wonderful options to fret about and consider.”
In other words, Robbie’s got more than enough things to keep him busy. He’s a new man, better styled (he launched his own clothing line, Farrell – named after and inspired by his Irish grandfather – in Brown Thomas on Grafton St. in September), and with a new sound to take on the road. He’s confident about the future. Well, sort of...
“I sort of, um… through reasons of my own – wants and wishes, and lethargy and… apathy? – I kind of didn’t want to be a pop star anymore, and released a couple of albums whilst not wanting to be a pop star. And people, I think, ran with the body language and went, ‘OK, we get it’. But this album, I’m sort of healthy and firing on all cylinders, and… um…"
The thought trails off.
“How do you stay relevant?” he resumes. “I don’t know. I’ll tell you after this week.”
Another smile.
“I don’t know who I am in the public mind anymore. I know that my last album sold a million copies in the UK and Ireland, which ain’t too bad. So it’s not like I’m fucked or anything, it’s just – how does it compare to my deliriously huge, fucking record sales of the past, you know? Like (raises fist in mock celebration) Noel Gallagher’s having an amazing time with his album! He’s doing fucking brilliant with his album! And he’s double platinum. And I fucking smashed that to fucking bits with my last album that didn’t do so well.
“So, you know, it’s all relative… relative to me and what I want for myself, which is maybe an unreachable task. But I’ve dreamt big and I’ve got here – and so I’ve gotta dream big again.”
Our time is almost up. Outside the door, there’s another interviewer waiting in line, but Robbie is more than happy to take a quick photo with yours truly. He wishes me a happy Christmas, asks about my two-year-old nephew (he saw a picture on my phone), and eagerly paces the room.
“He wouldn’t have it that I’m not gay,” he tells a member of his team, who has been chosen to take our picture. “He just kept on about it, and on
about it…”
Robbie Williams may have sorted his shit out,
but he’s still got a wickedly self-deprecating sense
of humour.
As I leave the room he's grinning...

Take The Crown is out now on Island Records.