Kicking against the pricks

“You, me, the whole community – let’s all get along/You, me, we could be family – if you sing this song.” (‘Community Love Song’)

If only a skuzzy stoner punk anthem could save our soul. As it is, North West four-piece The Evangelists have come up with another solution. “We had this idea last night,” admits frontman Eamonn McColgan, “that all the party leaders should be locked in a room for a wanking contest and whoever comes first gets their way. It’s a good way to sort things out. Get The Queen and The President of Ireland to judge.” He thinks again. “Although having those two in the room might…”

Enough. Sigur Ros fans can turn the page now. Trust me, The Evangelists – with their speed-freak surf riffs, their smart-arse, degenerate lyrics, and (on ’Slob King’ anyway) their apparent fondness for six-minute punk show-tunes – are not for you. However, anyone out there in the mood for some demented, off-kilter guitar pop should read on. And, according to Eamonn, take heart – there are many of your kind huddled together in the dark folds of small-town Ulster.

“We’re not one of these bands that’ll only play in Belfast or Dublin. We’ll play anywhere. We were in Limavady last night and it was great. Everywhere we go we get a great reception. People are just getting sick of shoe-gazers and boring bastards. It’s a backlash – kids want to see people go mad on stage, a bit of eye candy.”

So, you fancy yourselves a bit then?

“Oh aye. We’ve got chaotic dancers every time we play Belfast. These girls clamber on stage and just go mental. But I reckon we’ve got girls in every town. “

Like all good Evangelists, this lot are keen to spread The Word. Their most recent EP This Is A Real Rabbit – which included the aforementioned ‘Community Love Song’ – proved an excellent introduction. Which is just as well, considering the lengths the band went to in order to pay for its recording.

“We needed the money for the new CD,” explains Eamonn, “and we hadn’t a clue how we were going to do it. Like, it costs £1000 for a half decent record and distribution and things like that. So, we decided that two of us should sign up for the medical research centre in Belfast and we ended up getting two grand. The only thing I had was a wee radio and I’d listen to Radio Ulster and send text messages to Rigsy and Donna. Across The Line helped me through it. All the other residents were listening to their happy hardcore.”

And what form did the ‘research’ take?

“Somebody came along and stuck fucking needles in us 52 times a day for 48 hours to test an anti-anxiety drug. It didn’t bloody work.”

Any side-effects?

He lifts his sleeve to show-off some faded track-marks and grins.

“I can do the whole heroin thing now; pretend I’ve got a smack habit. But fuck it; I’m going back in November. We’ve a UK tour to organise.”

If any band’s ever needed an incentive to have a hit record, it’s The Evangelists. So, go on – do your bit. Make them big before their hair starts falling out.