I’m not a man who shies away from a journalistic challenge, but thank fuck I wasn’t asked to review the new Future Pilot AKA album.

Never mind 200 words, you’d need a university thesis to explain how Tiny Waves, Mighty Sea bridges the gap between modern western and traditional eastern music, employs 30 players from wildly differing backgrounds, and sounds quite unlike anything else you’ll find in your local megastore.

Then there’s mainman Sushil K. Dade’s past life as a member of Buzzcocks-wannabes-turned-baggy-hit-makers The Soup Dragons.

“You spend six years chasing success, only to discover that most aspects of it aren’t what they’re cracked up to be,” the Glaswegian reflects. “The time we did Late Night With Letterman, for instance, I had to sit and watch my own band from the crowd because there’s a union agreement to use the house bassist. Then, a wee bit later, we did a 10-week tour of America that was so horrible, I said ‘never again.’”

On the plus side, being a top 40 act in the States meant that The Soup Dragons were able to indulge in some A-List ligging.

“There was one particular party in New York where I got to chat to Jon Bon Jovi, Suzanne Vega and Dennis Hopper,” the 34-year-old continues. “The first couple of times it’s fun, but then you start thinking, ‘This is a really contrived situation which doesn’t enhance the quality of my life.’ Y’know, I can get what I need from Dennis Hopper at the cinema.”

Wanting nothing more to do with the music industry, Dade returned home and took up a day care job with Alzheimers Scotland.

“I spent a year-and-a-half going into people’s homes and running a lunch club, which included karaoke among its activities. One of the songs on the album, ‘Beautiful Dreamer’, features a 94-year-old Alzheimers friend of mine called Julia. She wasn’t able to hold conversations, but stick on a piece of music she knew and she’d sing along.”

Accompanying her in the credits are assorted members of Teenage Fanclub, The Pastels, Superstar, Belle and Sebastian and – be still Nicholas G. Kelly’s beating heart – Go-Between Robert Forster.

“I sent him a package, and next thing I know he’s sleeping in my bed.”

Pardon?

“Me and my wife’s bed.”

Kinkier still.

“I’d better explain this properly. There’s no way being six foot-plus that Robert would’ve fitted into the futon we have in the spare-room, so we did the decent thing and gave him our King Size. At no time were me and him, or him and my wife in the same bed.”

How disappointing. Despite the gushing reviews that have come his way, Dade is adamant that he doesn’t want his old rock ‘n’ roll job back.

“If I can make an occasion out of a gig, fine, but there’s no way I want to tour again,” he states. “Or give up my current job which is teaching people how to drive. There’s nothing mundane or boring about real life.”

Future Pilot AKA’s Tiny Waves, Mighty Sea album is out now on Domino