Going postal

They might want you to think that they’re macho rock ’n’ rollers, but we have it on good authority that The D4 like to flounce around in frilly girls’ dresses. Publicly.

“Who told you that?” says a worried looking Dangerous Dion (possibly not his real name).

Hot Press has its sleazy lowlife contacts everywhere. Most of whom like to wear frilly girls’ dresses themselves.

“It was a long one-piece number that I saw in the window and just had to buy,” the guitarist confesses. “I wanted to go the whole hog, so every time I went to the toilet I sat and took my pants down.”

It gets worse.

“What he hasn’t told you is that this little, er, episode took place during the Gay Pride Parade that happens every year in Auckland and is attended by upwards of 100,000 people,” singer Jimmy Christmas volunteers. “The company he was working for at the time had a float in it, so he went walkabout among these proper drag queens who were all giving him the eye. To be honest with you, I thought he looked a bit tarty.”

“You’re just jealous ‘cause I’ve got better legs than you,” says his bandmate, hurt and very possibly close to tears.

For those of you who don’t subscribe to Wailing Guitar Monthly, The D4 are the latest bunch of 1-2-3-4 merchants to burst forth from the garage with their Sonics, Saints and MC5 albums trailing behind them.

Less cartoony than The Hives and more bollocky than The Strokes, their own 6Twenty debut has battered all the right rock ‘n’ roll sausages. Hell, Alan McGee liked it so much he demanded to be their manager.

“Yeah, we didn’t have a whole lot of choice in the matter,” Dion laughs. “He came to a few of our gigs, told us afterwards how much he’d enjoyed them and then took us to The Groucho Club. Never mind his years of experience and shared love of the bands we’re into, that was the clincher!

“As for the musical climate, there’s definitely a trend at the moment for guitar bands but I still want The D4 to be making records and travelling round the world in two years time when that’s passed. There’s no fucking way I want to go back to a day job.”

While respectful of their international guitar-mauling colleagues – The Vines and Black Rebel Motorcycle are both big D4 faves – Dion says they relate more to the bands they grew up with in New Zealand.

“We’ve always looked to what’s around us, which when we were starting in the late ‘90s was something called ‘The Frisbee Scene’. It was this eclectic group of people who, rather than moaning that there was nothing going on, organised their own gigs and parties.”

Once they’d built up a sizeable following at home, it was off to Japan and Australia.

“The Japanese attitude to rock ’n’ roll is really exciting and refreshing,” Jimmy continues. “There’s no turning up late or staying in the bar for the support acts. People arrive the moment the doors open – between six and seven – and leave the moment the gig’s finished which is an equally early nine or ten. There’s no standing around waiting to be impressed, either. The crowd go nuts the moment you walk on and, unless you suck, keep going for the duration.”

Talking about sucking – and keeping going for the duration – what’s this I hear about The D4 and a mucky movie?

“We were asked to soundtrack the blow-job scene in a film called Stickmen,” Dion says proudly. “It’s a sort of New Zealand version of Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, very salacious but funny at the same time.”

I’m amazed that they didn’t insist on having their own parts in the film.

“Acting’s not really something I’m…oh, I see what you mean! No, it’s another person’s part getting the blow-job.”

That’s our mandatory double-entendre out the way. While well able to hold their own in the sex and rock ’n’ roll departments, The D4 aren’t overly interested in the third part of the equation. Even if 6Twenty does include a killer cover of Johnny Thunders’ ‘Pirate Love’.

“The main reason bands don’t make it out of Auckland is that they’re too busy being stoned,” Dion snipes. “Johnny Thunders was great up till the point when the drugs took over and then the music went down. It was the same with The Stooges. Getting wrecked’s part and parcel of life, but you need to know when to back off.”