Making friends in college: "Relax, put yourself out there, and see who you really connect with"

Lecture Allies

Probably the number one easiest way to get a conversation going in a lecture hall is by asking to borrow a pen or a page from someone’s notebook. While sophisticated Gen Z-ers might have done away with paper in favour of digital notes, there are still plenty of icebreakers. See below:

· Did you do the reading? (the answer is invariably no)
· Did you get what the lecturer was saying?
· Are you going to “blank” later (can be a protest / society event / course night out)?
· I like your hair / fashion sense / nails / jewellery / make-up / anything at all. It’s good to follow this up with ‘Where did you get it?’ or ‘How did you do it?’

The thing we tend to forget while we are worrying about ourselves is that most people are worrying about themselves, and would be grateful for someone else to extend the hand of friendship and initiate a conversation.

Clubs, Societies & Socialising

You’ll find a deep dive into weird and wonderful college societies elsewhere in our student feature, and it’s no mystery why so many people find their tribe this way. Having a collective purpose or interest brings together like-minded people and builds a sense of community rarely found elsewhere. Whether you want to keep up your cúpla focail in college, or take up a new sport like trampolining, or geek out over your favourite books and TV shows, there’s a delectable smorgasbord of clubs and societies to get your teeth into.

College / Course Nights Out

The smaller your course, the more likely you are to get to know everyone, and
the more likely class socials will be planned (sorry arts undergrads). Often just turning up to lectures, seeing the same faces regularly, and going to the end-of-semester night out are are the most straightforward ways to make buddies for life. You have a common interest and you’re in consistent and close proximity. Wahey! You are in easy mode for friendship building.

Part Time Jobs & Full Time Friends

Balancing work and studies can be one of the most challenging and isolating parts of third level education. However, it needn’t be. Working in a place with a staff full of students can make you feel less lonely. Suss out campus jobs, trendy cafes and shops. Making friends at work also has the added benefit of making your shift whiz by.

Domestic Affairs

With the current housing crisis, we often don’t get to choose who we live with (first year halls we’re talking about you), but we can make our situation more liveable. Board game and movie nights are great ice-breakers, while cost-sharing apps are a handy way to prevent arguments over money. And a group chat can save all kinds of logistical nightmares.

Pro tip: if you’re not living away from home during college, making friends with people who are will be a blessing, when a night out runs well after your last bus.

Take It Easy

There’s a shrewd piece of wisdom in Evelyn Waugh’s Brideshead Revisited, where he says you spend your second year of university shaking off all the friends you made in your first. It’s easy to get caught up in the frenzy of feeling like you have to make a million friends in your first semester, but often, lifelong friends are made in the later years of people’s degree courses. Relax, put yourself out there, and see who you really connect with. The friends you make might surprise you.

Read the full Student Special in the current issue of Hot Press – out now: