Wise up suckers!

You’d have thought the redtops would have learned their lesson after being fed equally fabricated stories about Amy Winehouse’s beehive catching fire during a jamming session in her North London home and Pixie Geldof keeping pick ‘n’ mix sweets in her bra (gobstopper anybody?).
They’re the latest media outlets to be hoaxed by Chris Atkins, the director of Starsuckers, a new film about the tabloid obsession with celebrity, which hits UK screens at the end of the month.
“Had those fake stories been fact-checked by the newspapers before they were printed, they would have realised – within minutes – that they were about to publish complete and utter babble,” who also got the Mirror to agree in principle to paying a ficticious cosmetic surgery nurse three grand a pop to reveal which celebs were having their bits enlarged/reduced/made less wrinkly.
You can watch the trailer at www.starsuckersmovie.com, which also has a link to Atkins’ Twitter. Sample tweet: “Tabloid hacks have just tried doorstepping me at a house where I no longer live.”
There’s also a handy ‘How To Sell A Fake News Story’ section if you’d like to get up to some hack-baiting of your own.
We’re indebted to Paul Nolan and his celebrity chum David O’Doherty – next thing you know Nolanio will be playing golf with Bruce ‘n’ Tarby – for making us aware of Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis, a spoof chat show that proves what a good egg Charlize Theron is. See it at www.funnyordie.com/videos/d14fdef4f2/between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?rel=auto_related&rel_pos=4.
From there it’s but a mere mouse-click to www.radiofail.tk, which has Kylie calling a DJ a retard, Paul Weller fans receiving blow-jobs from popcorn sellers and other quality radio bloopers.
Which just leaves time for quick visits to www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwNHE3QXVc4&NR=1Gfeature=fvwp (Miss California in complete fuckwit shocker!); www.speechbreaker.co.uk(Make David Cameron call that nice Gordon Brown a cunt); vigilantcitizen.com (Beyonce’s occult rebirth and other chortlesome wack-job theories); and www.southparkstudios.co.uk/clips/sp_vid_251869/?tab=featured (Michael Jackson lives!).