Up the ra-ra!

Some people are so cynical. Having declared himself an avid reader of American Cheerleader, Stephen Robinson has had to put up with certain members of the Hot Press staff branding him a dirty old perv who ought to have electrodes attached to his willy. They can’t see that Robbo is a firm believer in Mom, Dad and the American way. Not to mention teenage minxes who cavort around in bobbysox and the teensiest weensiest skirts you’ve ever seen.

With his Summer Holiday Special a little, er, soiled, we decided to check out the online version that resides– reasonably enough – at www.americancheerleader.com

The must-thumb articles include Big Men On Campus: 10 Reasons To Give Cheerleading A Try, Tumbling Tech: Impress The Squad With The Toe Touch Back Tuck and Stunt School: Three Steps To A Perfect Twist Cradle.

While we know his intentions are honorable, Mr. Robinson has been warned that if he brings their sister publication, American Cheerleader Junior, into the building, we’ll have his testicles!

There’s more wholesome fun to be had at www.seethru.co.uk/zine which sends up all things world, wide and webbed. Our mouse was particularly tickled by Am I Wearing A Hat Or Not?, 10 Reasons Why Jamie Oliver Is So My Bitch and 20 Questions Ask Jeeves Can’t Answer. Among the latter’s imponderables are: ‘What’s the point?’, ‘Know what I mean?’, ‘What the fuck?’ and ‘How much wood would a woodchucker chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?’

Having posed the question “How would our friends – the multinational pharmaceutical giants – market drugs if they were legal?”, the ezine answers it with mock-ups of a Big Dipper (‘Amphetamine Dip With Lolly’) and Cocaine Inhaler (‘For Extra Energy & A Night Of Talking Bollocks’).

Two Chinese, a Brazilian, a Nigerian, a Greek, a Jamaican and now a member of Atomic Kitten! The Moyes revolution gathers apace at www.evertonfc.com

Personally, Caught In The Net reckons that The People’s Club should sign the Rudi Voller lookalike who can be found at www.immerrocknroll.de The bubble-permed and mustachioed gentleman in question is actually a member of Sandcastle, one of the über-dodgy German bands that now have their own tribute site.

Which just leaves us time to mention www.iwantoneofthose.com, the last word in boys’ toys and other gadgets that you don’t need but really, really want.