Tears For Spears

The good news for, um, Miss, y’know, Teen, such as, South Carolina is that she’s been replaced as YouTube’s ‘most viewed’ by the equally remarkable Chris Crocker and his kiddy tantrum plea for people to stop bashing Britney.

“Her song is called ‘Gimme More’ for a reason,” he shrieks, “because all you people want is more, more, more, more, more! You’re lucky she even performed for you! Leave Britney alone. She’s a human being!”
It all seems too O.T.T. to be true, but the 19-year-old is actually a real life video blogger living in the Southern Bible Belt.
According to the man from www.thestranger.com who’s tracked him down: “Around age 13, despite the disapproval of his grandmother, Chris had his first boyfriend. The boyfriend lived in New York. His name was Angel. The two met online because they were both young, gay, out and publishing e-zines. They were together five years. Chris describes it as the most serious relationship of his life, even though the two never met in person. Instead, they chatted incessantly online, and had a florid phone sex life. When, one day, Chris’ grandmother overheard them having phone sex and blocked Angel’s number in an attempt to break them up, Chris quickly found a fix – he offered to have regular chats with a paedophile he met online in exchange for prepaid phone cards.”
With over five and a half million people watching his Britney blog, it’s no surprise that Crocker is now being bombarded with megabuck offers from TV networks and film companies.
Talking of which, Caught In The Net is counting down the days until David Cronenberg’s Russian mafia movie, Eastern Promises, hits the big screen.
Co-starring Viggo Mortensen and Naomi Watts, it’s being hailed as the best thing the Canadian’s ever done, and gets the teaser treatment at www.focusfeatures.com/easternpromises.
Which just leaves time for quick visits to www.dylanmessaging.com (send a message ‘Subterranean Homesick Blues’ style); www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5nZcFIf3qc (Filipino prisoners remake ‘Thriller’); and www.headhoods.com (that explains why you were mugged the other day by a gang of Audrey Hepburns).