Sporran Affairs

Some people might think that grown men prancing around in leather shorts is something to chortle at, but not Caught In The Net. We can’t wait to give hotpress’ company credit card details to the good volk at www.austriastore.at and await delivery of that “perfect pair of lederhosen.”

If you think Alpine culture is all beer-guzzling and thigh-slapping, well, you’d be right. Along with all the Van Trap Family apparel, the like-minded www.brauwelt.at site can sort you out with some hair-curlingly strong Austrian brews.

There’s leatherwear of a rather different kind at www.free.madhentai.com which offers a take on such cartoon faves as The Simpsons, The Flintstones, Snow White and Pokémon whose name takes on a whole new meaning. Filthy, reprehensible and extremely entertaining.

The same can be said for www.realmckenzies.com, the online home of the world’s first – and very possibly only – bagpipe punk band.

“With nearly 10 years of mayhem under their sporrans, The Real McKenzies are true road warriors,” they declare. “Always touring, always drinking and always rockin’, the haggis-fueled McKenzie clan is a hearty bunch that desires only to bring their Celtic brand of punk rock to every remote corner of the globe. Their unending tour schedule would make William Wallace himself exhausted.” It’s not their fault, they’re Canadian.

Sticking with matters musical for a mo and there’s much trainspotterish fun to be had at www.songfacts.com which has the lowdown on over 24,000 top tunes. Did you know, for instance, that our good friends the Alabama 3 only got $40,000 for lending The Sopranos ‘Woke Up This Morning’? Ganja fans that they are, the Bammies would appreciate the spliffed-up fun to be had at www.infinitewheel.com/dubselector.html Five minutes practice and anybody can be the new Lee “Scratch” Perry.

It’s off next to www.punchbaby.com and its huge range of “nasty sick clips to make your stomach turn.” These include a snot-spraying TV presenter, snake flossing and an overweight woman who can clap without using her hands.

www.cameltoe.org offers a variation on a similar theme, with plenty of celebrity pics to illustrate their pervy point.

Which just leaves us time to visit www.flashmountain.com, a Stephen Robinson-endorsed tribute to exhibitionism. Really, Robbo!