Primal screen

Never mind stupid Star Wars: Attack Of The Clones and its $80 gazillion budget. Caught In The Net is far more enamoured of the pre-George Lucas sci-fi flicks that were made for 20 quid, a couple of bottles of fizzy pop and a ride home in the director’s car.

A veritable shrine to all things cheap and B-List, Attack Of The 50ft. Web Site features original poster art from such classics as The Mole People, Devil Girl From Mars, Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla and The Giant Leeches – “Rising from the depths of hell… to kill and conquer.”

It’s all deliciously camp and browsable at www.a50ftws.com

There are more sights for sore eyes at Harry Benson: 50 Years In Pictures. One of America’s most celebrated sharpshooters, Benson was on hand to witness Bobby Kennedy’s assassination, the Freedom March through Mississippi and the fall of the Berlin Wall, to name but a few.

Our favourite, though, is his 1964 snap of The Beatles and the then Cassius Clay.

“Before their second Ed Sullivan Show appearance, I took the Beatles to meet Clay who was training for his upcoming fight against Sonny Liston”, Benson reminisces.

“Clay ordered them around shouting, ‘Who’s the most beautiful?’ and ‘I’m the greatest!’, and literally beat them at their own game. They were annoyed with me, to say the least.”

Feast your eyes at www.digitaljournalist.com

Lie awake nights wondering how much your poo is worth? Well, agonise no more ‘cause www.jboom.com/shite-price has come up with a quick, easy and not-at-all-messy way to find out.

“We’ll take some figures from you, then time how long your poo takes,” they explain. “With a bit of magic we’ll then tell you how much your employer has just paid you for that anal expression.”

Before you ask, £0.01p.

Another question that might have been causing you anxiety is “Whatever happened to that Louise Wenner out of Sleeper?”

Well, the answer is, “Writing appalling sub-Bridget Jones nonsense.”

Out in August, Goodnight Steve McQueen includes such faux I Love The Fucking ‘70s nostalgia as: “Do you remember the quiz show Winner Takes All? It had a top prize of one thousand pounds. They kept it in a perspex display case. A thousand crisp green notes. Right there. Right under your nose, and it was real money as well, not like those cheques they wave about on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.”

There’s more – if you can stand it – at www.amazon.co.uk

Caught In The Net wouldn’t dream of laughing at other people’s misfortunes, but it has to be said that www.tourettes.com is rather funny. Ditto http://cosmo7.com/safety/advertising.html, which bears no resemblance to the

hotpress office at all.

Honest.