No win situation

Never mind all this “my sinuses are at me” bollocks, the real reason for Win Butler pulling his band’s upcoming European tour is that he’s been ordered back to his day job.

Given what we’ve just read on www.villageofarcade.org/html/fire_dept_.html, Caught In The Net is amazed that Butler’s got away with his moonlighting for as long as he has.
“Located on North Street in the New York village of Arcade, the Arcade Fire Department proudly protects those living within the 120 square mile district,” explains the introductory blurb. “With more than 70 members, all with a volunteer status, the Arcade Fire Department provides the primary source of fire protection and emergency medical services in the Arcade area. Other provided services include high-angle rope rescue, ice/water rescue, haz-mat response, search and rescue, and provides continuing education about fire prevention for the community and area youth.”
And another thing – how come we didn’t get any high-angle rope rescue or haz-mat response in the Olympia?
They may have insulted our mothers, kicked our dogs and defecated on our doorsteps – actually, they merely pointed out that after nearly a year online we hadn’t given them a plug – but Caught In The Net remains a huge fan of our near neighbours www.balconytv.com.
The balcony in question is atop The Oak Bar in Dame Street, Dublin 2 and has recently been squeezed onto by the likes of Tortured Artists Social Club, The Hot Sprockets, Trip Hazard, The Carnival Saloon and 2FM Tayto Song Contest Winner Pamela Connolly.
“Are you a singer?” the high-flying TV channel asks. “Are you a poet? Are you a celebrity with a cause? Are you a celebrity with something to say? Are you a celebrity with nothing to say? Can you juggle? Can you stand on your head? Are you Bono? Are you Terry Wogan? Can you turn translucent? Can you crack a few jokes? Are you a stand up comedian? Are you a politician? Do you want to defend your policies? Bertie this could be for you! Speak to the world! Break a news story! Shamelessly publicise something! (It better be good!) It’s all possible on Balcony TV.”
Ah, so that’s how Posh has managed to hang on to her David! Caught In The Net is rather taken with the star exhibit in Will St. Leger’s Celebrity Guns & Ammo stencil show, which is running online at www.willsaint.com and in The Hive, 30-32 St. John Rogerson’s Quay, Dublin 2 until April 27.
Which just leaves time for quick visits to profile.myspace.com/charmcitycuntpunchers (punk rock football team); www.godtube.com (scarily, it’s not a pisstake); and eatliver.com (no wonder the Boot’s make-up counter is so busy).